‘Tis the season of Thanksgiving and gift giving, time with family and friends, turkey, and the first crisp days of winter. This time of year, there is a lot of talk of gratitude and appreciation — we may take a few minutes before a meal to share something we’re grateful for or take part in another family tradition centered on thankfulness. These are wonderful practices, and I think they should happen as often as possible. But I’ve found, in many ways, these activities only scratch the surface of cultivating a grateful heart. When we only engage our kids in shallow conversations about thankfulness we are, in effect, only paying lip service to a trait many of us want to see in our children and in our homes.

5 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Home

We know gratitude is transformative, so how do we take conversations in our homes to a deeper and more meaningful level? How can we foster grateful hearts in our kids and our families? Here are a few ideas on how to take your conversations beyond turkey and presents this year:

1. Deepen your conversations about gratitude

Many of us can be at a loss for how to have meaningful conversations about gratitude, but this is step one in creating a grateful heart. So here’s the key: Get specific. Rather than simply asking the question, “What are you grateful for?” here are a few questions you can ask your little ones:

What are you grateful for about yourself?

What is one thing your sister did today that you are grateful for?

How can you show your teacher you were grateful for her help today?

Did anything wonderful unexpectedly happen today?

2. Write thank-you notes

Now that your kids are more aware of the many things in their lives they have to be thankful for, help them to show it. We’ve become accustomed to begrudgingly writing thank-you notes for gifts received only after birthdays and holidays. But what about the gifts we receive every day? The kind words or the invitation to a party or the homework help? These things deserve acknowledgement, and it’s so easy to do! Help your kiddos learn to write notes (or emails or texts or whatever) of gratitude.

3. Make a “warm fuzzy” jar

The most commonly known version of the “warm fuzzy” jar is to put a cotton ball in a jar when your child performs some act of kindness, and when the jar is full you get to celebrate. My idea is a bit of a twist on this — rather than filling the jar with an item for acts of kindness performed by you, fill it with thoughts of gratitude. When your kids experience something they are grateful for, they get to put a cotton ball in the jar. Being a kindness giver is important, but this will encourage them to be gratitude seekers; and again, we know that the more grateful a person is, the more likely he or she is to show kindness to another. You can also get creative about what the “reward” is for filling the jar.

4. Create a gratitude paper chain

Every day for a week (or longer!), have members of your family write something they are grateful for on a slip of paper. Staple the slips together and put the chain on display in your dining room.

5. Thank outside the box

Once we have taken the time to acknowledge and appreciate all we are and all we have, it is so hard not to reflect that back to others. One of the best ways to show gratitude is by showing kindness to others. Take your show on the road, get outside of your comfort zone, and do something extraordinary for someone else.

How do you work to cultivate gratitude in your home this time of year?