Note: This week is National Breastfeeding Week. We celebrate, support, and honor all ways moms choose to feed and nourish their children.

top10

1. Don’t be judgy, be kind.

We are all on our own personal journeys and doing our best, and judging what you think is right for the baby is not helpful or kind. This is rule #1 in combatting the Mommy wars, which, frankly, I am so over. But this actually goes for the mom the most. Be kind to yourself. Get the help you need, and be patient and flexible with your expectations. Use formula if that works for you (even part time). For me, it was my goal to exclusively breastfeed. I thought it was natural and so for that, I thought it would be easy. WRONG. It is so hard. Especially in the beginning, when you AND your baby have no experience whatsoever. As for outside support, just remember that all moms want you to just root for them and their choices… so if she can breastfeed, give her support, and if it’s hard for her… give her more support, remind her she is amazing, and JUDGE NOT.

2. Give space, especially in those first weeks.

Everyone is different. Most moms I know need you to look away or respect that she needs space. I am not super private, and I do not need privacy breastfeeding… anymore. In the first few days, I had no clue what to do and wanted to be left alone to figure it out, not carry on a conversation. I remember hiding in my bedroom trying to master the latch, and hearing one visitor say, “Is she done eating yet? We want to meet her!” I stopped feeding my new daughter so she could see visitors, and that was a mistake. Do you like your lunch being interrupted?

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3. Don’t let her think she has to do it alone.

Obviously, a mom does have to logistically breastfeed the baby on her own. But there are many diverse ways of making it work. First, a lactation consultant is a Godsend. Breastfeeding support hotlines and groups are amazing, too. Having friends who are there for you is ideal. Don’t have a friend to talk to? I loved this book, which was perfect for AFTER I knew what I was doing. Also, I know for a fact that I could not have met my goal of breastfeeding my daughters without my husband’s commitment to support me. Thanks, babe, you are the best!

4. Ask how you can help.

New moms are hormonal messes. ASK me how I am doing, how I can be supported. I am not going to advocate for my needs and ask you to help me, mostly because I am so throughly exhausted.

5. Don’t tell me horror stories of other people’s negative breastfeeding experiences.

We do not want to hear it — it does not help.

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6. Give her water.

Breastfeeding mamas get thirsty like nobody’s business! I cannot even begin to explain how thirsty I was, it’s like being parched times ten. My husband acts like a sherpa in general, and his ability to bring me water allows me to feed the baby and be happy.

7. Let us eat.

Okay so we covered the thirst. But the hunger. Oh, the hunger. I did not experience intense cravings while pregnant, but the phenomenal hunger I had (and all my b’feeding pals did too) was astronomical. So feed me. I can eat with one hand, don’t worry. Just PLEASE pass the potatoes (or asparagus, or cookies, or anything).

8. Recommend your favorite Netflix show.

One of my friends used an app that tracked how often she fed her 2-month-old daughter, and it came out to be 18 of the 24 hours a day. That is a whole lot of sitting down. So, wanna do us a favor? Watch my older kid if I have one, or do the laundry and then pass the clicker, I need to watch “Orange Is the New Black” now.

9. Buy, borrow or lend.

Most mothers use a Boppy or a BreastFriend or something that works for them. It is a great gift if the mom does not have one yet. Nipple creams and breast pads are a ridiculous gift to purchase, but they’re pretty delightful to receive!

10. Cheer me on and remind me it is going to be amazing!

You could read all the articles in the world about breastfeeding benefits, but ultimately, for me, breastfeeding is the most amazing experience I have had with my girls for no other reason than the bonding. The beginning is hard — leaking, soreness, engorgement, blebs, pumping, and oh, the list goes on and on. But I can tell you from experience that it gets so much easier, and so good.

Mamas, you are rockstars no matter what your baby is drinking… so rock on!