family motto - Boston Mom Blog
Photo courtesy SweetPrintDesigns on Etsy.

“Be kind and be grateful.”

“Work hard.”

“Make good choices, and remember who you are.”

Does your family have words you live by? Something you repeat over and over? Something other than “wash your hands with soap” or “don’t hit your sister” (both commonly used in my house).

I recently read an article about the importance of the family motto — how having one can “reaffirm family values and serve as a real compass for kids as they get older.” The article discussed how repetition speeds up learning and how “eventually the things we say to our children become second nature to them.”

That really resonated with me. Maybe it’s the idea that in the midst of our chaotic lives, if something is on repeat, it just might stick. Or maybe it’s because I’m concerned that my girls will only remember me standing at the breakfast table with platters of eggs and turkey sausage, shrilling “pick your protein!” (“She made us pick our protein” may very well end up on my gravestone one day.)

But really, I think I just like the idea that my family can choose something that’s important to us and make it part of our fabric, our story. When you’ve heard something said over and over, those are the words that pop into your head when faced with an obstacle or in the midst of a dark day. Those are the words that guide you on your path — or help you get back on it. When your family can’t be right there with you, their words are.

Growing up, I remember one of our family mottoes was “save your pennies.” Seems basic, and my sister and I would groan when we heard it at the mall, but it stuck with me. I always knew that my family respected a dollar. We splurged on the occasional trip to the Caribbean, but we also liked shopping second-hand. (I still do!) When I started babysitting at the age of 11, earning a whopping $1.50 an hour, it was so I could save my pennies.

My friend recently shared with me one of her family mottoes: “If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.” When both of our daughters were navigating tough social stuff at school, we urged them to go forth with these words in mind. “Be brave” and “be a good friend,” are simpler spins on that one.

I’m batting around a few more for my family. One is “make it happen.” Too often, we think luck — or someone else’s luck — affects our outcome. But once we own our path, not as predetermined fate, but as self-actualized destiny, we can do anything.

My husband likes “believe in yourself,” and I’m adding “and treat yourself well.” Happiness and confidence start within — and then allows us to be kind to others, to be brave, and to make good choices. Treating yourself well can mean everything from taking care of your health to enjoying your own company to trusting your gut. Basically, we want our kids to go forth in this world loving themselves as much as we do.

And finally: “Do what you love.” Whether it’s piano and soccer now or a future dream job as an art historian, do what you love, and let go of what you don’t. We already encourage our girls on this front, but perhaps our message bears repeating, especially to my practical eldest daughter, who, at age six, wanted to know salary levels before declaring her career path. Do what you love, work hard, and the money will follow.

And then you can, you know, save those pennies.

Jessie Keppeler
A Maine native, Jessie migrated down the coast to Boston after college, and it’s been home ever since. She has lived in various corners of the city — from Allston and Brighton to Newbury Street and then Jamaica Plain — before settling in Brookline with her husband and three daughters. As much as she loves home now, she also likes to leave occasionally: recent family travels include Italy, Belize, and Washington D.C. Jessie writes with a cat curled up nearby and a dog at her feet. And a cup of coffee. Always.