Screen Time Limits… for Mom?

If you became a mom in the last decade, screen time is probably something you have thought about. (Believe it or not, smartphones are only 12 years old. And iPads are only 10!) There are endless opinions about screen time and its effects on kids, but there is not a whole lot of research available. So we are left to chat with other moms, Google whatever data we can find, and then go with our gut and do what we believe is best for our kids.

Recently, as I was pulling up a Pinterest page to remember what my 2-year-old son’s Valentine craft was “supposed to” look like, it struck me:

We spend so much time worrying about screen time for our kids… but what about the impact of screen time on us — as moms?

Think about some of the reasons we worry about screen time for our kids. Obviously, there is the issue of brain development (which is less of a concern for adults). Does screen time impact kids’ attention spans? Will too much screen time stifle their creativity? Will it keep them from learning social skills and making friends? Especially as they move toward the teenage years, will they compare themselves to filtered images and feel like they are never good enough? 

Well, let’s take a minute and think about those same concerns for ourselves.

Attention span

When you sit down to lunch, especially with infants and/or toddlers who don’t really engage in conversation yet, are you scrolling through your Instagram feed or replying to emails? In those rare moments when you finally have some time to yourself, do you reach for your phone to catch up on the latest Twitter war? Do you grab your tablet to binge watch the next series? Like with our kids, we have to decide if these instances are occurring too often… and if screen time is taking away from something more valuable (a nap, maybe?). 

Creativity

Moms are, by far, some of the most creative people out there. I mean, think about the tricks we come up with to get our toddlers to put on their coats or brush their teeth. Now think about your newsfeed around the holidays. Sometimes don’t you see some creative, but often very similar, celebrations? Isn’t it funny how a tool like Pinterest (which, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE) can enhance our creativity but at the same time stifle it? When I need an idea for my son’s latest holiday craft, what’s the first thing I do? Type it into Pinterest and see what pops up. I could probably come up with much better ideas on my own — or, better yet, hand my son the paper and some paint and see what he comes up with on his own.

Socialization

Technology is an amazing tool. Facetime, Skype, and Tinybeans help bridge the miles between our kids and the people who love them. I would be lost without mom blogs (like this one!) or Lucie’s List. I’ve connected with local moms through neighborhood Facebook groups. Of course, there is also a danger. Do you find yourself scrolling through Instagram and comparing your “regular” day to a mom who ventured out to the Children’s Museum or the MFA? Have you found yourself at a museum wondering if you should post a picture just so people know you can be a fun mom too? (RED FLAG. Step away from the phone.) And don’t even get me started on the rabbit hole that can be mom discussion boards, especially on hot-button issues (cough, sleep training, cough). 

Example for our kids

When I was a teacher, we used our phones to submit attendance and lunch counts each morning. One day I had a new case on my phone and it was the very first thing my students noticed when we sat down for morning meeting. I say this to highlight a point: Kids notice EVERYTHING. Yes, they listen to what we tell them (usually). Yes, they internalize certain behaviors through routine and repetition. But the reality is, they gain so much of their knowledge about the world through observation.

And if what they observe is adults constantly staring at screens, they will internalize that message: Being a grown-up means staring at a screen all day.

I am not here to condemn screens. Trust me, as a toddler mom I know how important that connection to the outside world can be (especially as we trudge through the winter months). What I am suggesting is that maybe we should spend a little time thinking about what is best for us when it comes to screens. Maybe take a day to spend some time away from your phone or iPad (I wish I could excuse you from your work computer, but I don’t have that power). You don’t need a fancy study or a research psychologist — you’ll know what makes you happier.