Lake zen woman

Like so many other moms out there, I have times when life, motherhood, everything gets to be too much. During those thankfully transient times, I am not my best self. I snap at the kids, yell at the red light, or get otherwise frustrated and impatient. I’ve also started noticing that my default posture is with my shoulders up around my ears, and I have to make a conscious effort to relax my body.

So when I’m in the car and the 7-year-old won’t stop talking about Pokemon, the toddler is screaming, and I hit that last, long red light before we get home, I’ve started using the moment as an opportunity to gather those last shreds of sanity before we get home and a whole different breed of chaos takes over.

Want to hear my secret?

Are you ready?

Sure?

It’s…

Counting to 10.

OK, before you come with your torches, I know you’ve heard this advice so often it’s become trite. But it really is both that simple and a little more complicated. Here’s why.

1. You need to shut your brain off and shut the world out. Commit to this — the briefest of breaks. Don’t just say the words with your mouth while your brain is still in the frustrated, anxious place. Like the song says, let it go.

2. You can’t be like a 4-year-old playing hide-and-go-seek at the playground, counting so fast your words run together. You need to count slowly — “Mississippily” (one Mississippi, two Mississippi, etc.).

3. Take a deep breath and let the tension flow out of your body. I do this either before I begin or around my first or second breath. Do a quick scan of your body: Are your shoulders relaxed? Is your breathing deep and slow?

And that’s pretty much it. I think to myself, “I can bear almost anything for 10 seconds.” I can let the screaming happen, I can forget about being late, I can stand out in the awful, energy-sucking heat. I can handle almost anything for 10 seconds. Once I know I’m committed to just breathing for the next 10 seconds, it’s easier to take deep breaths and let the relaxation settle in.

stacking stones

Not sure when you should try this method? Here are a couple of examples of times where this is especially effective for me: When I feel like I’m about to explode because the 7-year-old is taking for.ev.er to accomplish the mind-bogglingly simple task I’ve requested of him. (An added benefit of this technique is that when I close my eyes and start counting, out loud, my son sometimes realizes he’s pushed me too far and then gets serious about doing what I asked in the first place.) The other is when I’m waiting on a timer in the kitchen, and I just need it to go faster. It surprises me, but sometimes I even keep counting to 20 or 30 because it’s so soothing.

If you’re looking for other ways to relax, check out these recommended apps with reviews by Kaiser Permanente for both Apple and Android devices.

So, what do you think? Have you tried this? Will you try this? Does it work for you? And please, if you have any other secrets for making it through the day, share with us!

 

 

 

victoriamorenojackson
Raised in the South, Victoria lives in Norwood with her college sweetheart, son (2010), and daughter (2016). In Victoria’s previous career, she worked as a lawyer, specializing in alternative dispute resolution practice and training. Victoria is happy to announce that she has overcome her goal to MAKE ALL THE THINGS, and given into her love of bag designing and creation to form Subversive Textiles, LLC! When she isn’t working, you’ll usually find Victoria attempting to satisfy her introverted self’s desire to sit cozily inside, devouring media, while crafting. Her outdoorsy, extroverted family makes sure that she doesn’t get too comfortable by regularly expressing their need to be outside and doing things, preferably with other people. Given that her entire family is filled with strong-willed individuals who consider the word “No” as an invitation to begin negotiating, there’s never a dull moment (despite what her son says.) When she isn’t working, you’ll usually find Victoria attempting to satisfy her introverted self’s desire to sit cozily inside, devouring media, while crafting. Her outdoorsy, extroverted family makes sure that she doesn’t get too comfortable by regularly expressing their need to be outside and doing things, preferably with other people. Given that her entire family is filled with strong-willed individuals who consider the word “No” as an invitation to begin negotiating, there’s never a dull moment (despite what her son says.)