It’s Self-Care, Not Selfish

Hey, mama! Yeah, you. Stop what you’re doing for a minute. Take a nice long breath. In, and out. I have a question for you.

When is the last time you practiced a little self-care? When is the last time you were able to take care of your needs without thinking of the needs of others? 

It feels like from the moment pregnancy begins, selfless actions commence. Am I drinking enough water… for the baby? Am I getting enough exercise… for the baby? Am I eating nourishing food (you guessed it)… for the baby?

How does something so small take over in such a big way? And why do we, as mothers, always put ourselves on the back burner to care for others? Is it nature? Or something more?

I feel like I’m constantly in a war with myself — I know I need to take care of my babies, my house, my job, and my life… but what about me? I always forget to take care of me. And I don’t mean “lock the bathroom door so no one can get in” or “drink a bottle of wine so I forget what’s going on in my world” kind of care. I mean the kind of care that rejuvenates me. The kind that gives me life. The kind that fills my cup. Because, after all, the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” And you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.

So as the holidays approach, I’ve decided to make a promise to myself: I will take care of my needs first, so I can take care of the needs of others too. I will be good to myself, so I can be good to others too. I will make myself happy, so I can make others happy too. I will fill my cup, and you should fill yours too. 

So schedule that massage, mama. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Go for a long walk. Alone. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Get a manicure/pedicure. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Take an extra long hot shower (or bath!). That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Binge-watch a new show that you want to see. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Practice yoga for an hour, uninterrupted. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Schedule a hair appointment. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Give yourself a facial, complete with cucumbers on your eyes. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Go for a run (or a swim, or a ride, or whatever else you like!). That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Read a book. With or without pictures. As long as it’s your choice. Because that’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Take a nap in the middle of the day. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care. 

Pay for an extra half hour of childcare so you can rest, exercise, or just turn off the noise in your mind. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Talk to other mamas. Go out for coffee. Get dinner. Grow your support network. That’s not selfish, it’s self-care.

Do what you need to do to recharge, refill, and reinvigorate yourself. It’s not selfish. It’s self-care, and you deserve it, mama. You deserve it.