minivans are cool - Boston Moms Blog

The minivan is synonymous with uncoolness — a final and melancholy acquiescence to the fate of eternal parenthood.

When we were staring down the loaded barrel of a third kid on the way and realized we were going to have to buy a minivan, I got a bumper sticker that says, “I used to be cool.” (For the record, it’s a lie — I have never been cool.) But I never put the bumper sticker on the van. You know why? Because I discovered that MINIVANS ARE COOL.

Yeah, I said it: Minivans. Are. Cool.

I don’t know how this smear campaign against minivans got started, but I assure you it’s nothing but a wide swath of untrue vitriol. Granted, I’m a function-over-form kind of gal, but I do love a good zippy car. In the past, I’ve had a tiny convertible, a super-fast five-speed, and a sleek European SUV. I’d trade any of them in a heartbeat for a good, solid minivan.

Most minivan devotees will tell you it all boils down to convenience, and the convenience factor is undeniable. But I’m taking it a step further. For me, the minivan provides a more esoteric benefit — one thin slice of control in a world where I have, well, none.  

My kids are 1, 2, and 5. Two of them (that’s 66.67%!) can get in their seats by themselves. No third-row seat flipping to deal with. More importantly, the kids can open the (sliding) doors themselves. Without my tasting bile watching the car door fling outward toward the Tesla or Mercedes or gold-plated Lamborghini we are inevitably parked next to. They can’t reach each other to engage in the slapping fights of my car-trip youth. (Although, sadly, I haven’t found any options for soundproofing each individual seat so they can’t scream at each other. THERE is a money-maker.)

The driver’s seat of a minivan is a straight-up cockpit. I can open and close all doors with the push of a button. I can turn the heat up for the kid who’s cold and roll the window down for the kid who’s hot. And I can put down the rear-seat-view mirror to see what’s going on back there, or put it up if I just don’t want to know. There is no other vantage point in my world where I can control so much with so little effort. God bless it.

And you want to go on a road trip? Not sure if you need one pack and play or two? Heck, bring three. You’ve got room. Going to the grocery store? Go ahead, buy the 80-pack of toilet paper. No problem. And speaking of toilet paper, tired of stopping every 10 minutes because someone has to pee? Or dealing with accidents because they couldn’t hold it until the next rest stop? Throw a little potty in the back and pull over when one of them needs to go. You just cut two hours off your travel time.

Minivans aren’t just cool for kid stuff, either. On the rare occasion that I get to go out with my friends, we can put seven of us in one car. In Boston that immediately saves $40 for parking, plus that means only one sober driver for all those people! Worried you’ll get stuck being that sober driver? Nah, just offer to let someone else drive your car. Everyone will jump at the chance, because then they’ll get to be seen driving around in a minivan.

And as we all now know, minivans are cool.


Amanda Rotondo
After growing up in Connecticut and roaming the Northeast as an academic nomad for 100 years and 100 apartments, Amanda is now happily settled north of Boston. Her handsome gentleman caller (aka husband) and she were enjoying life as unbearable DINKs, then somehow ended up having three children in the span of four years (currently 4, 2, and 10 months.) Go big or go home, right? Amanda works as a user experience research and design consultant and also has a side hustle making artisanal garlic salt (for real! etsy.com/shop/AnnasGarlicSalt) She has a PhD in human-computer interaction and uses it for two things: 1) Work, and 2) referencing when she does something idiotic (example: “Officer can you help me? I have lost my car in the mall parking lot and have been searching for it for almost 2 hours. And by the way, I have a PhD.”) Amanda loves bargains, gardening, thunderstorms, and a solid 25%-30% of people. She is terrified of lobsters, the word “slacks,” and of the remaining 70%-75% of people.