family meeting - Boston Moms Blog

As busy moms, we all know how bananas life can get, right? I’ve written a lot about this, whether it’s syncing up the kids’ classes, slowing down for the summer, or trying to teach my girls certain life skills in the midst of the chaos. I’ve even thought about how to make a family motto sacred in our busy lives.

So now I’m looking at another way for my family to push the pause button. It’s something that should be second nature to those of you who spend your workday negotiating and brainstorming with others.

It’s the Family Meeting.

As soon as your kids are preschool age, consider calling to order a Family Meeting. It’s a way to give everyone in the family a voice (and to take those little voices seriously), to practice democracy, and to show that we’re part of a team with common goals. And, it’s — yet again — a way to slow down and touch base with one another.

My parents introduced Family Meetings when I was a kid, and maybe I was a dork, but I remember getting pretty excited about them. (Who would get to take notes?!) We talked about family safety — I recall multiple conversations about what to do in case of a fire — and also sat around and laughed. It wasn’t all business.

So with that in mind, I decided to continue the tradition with my own kids, ages 9, 6, and 3. Recently, we sat down in the living room for our inaugural session, and for 30 minutes we talked about what’s what. There were cheers, there were groans, and the little one bounced on the sofa cushions the entire time.

You can run your own Family Meeting as you see fit, but to help spark some ideas, here was our agenda :

Family Meeting — February 27, 2019

Agenda

1. Upcoming weekend plans — what is everyone looking forward to? (All)

2. Laundry — how everyone can help more. (Mama)

3. Soccer clinic in June — do S and E want to do it? (Dada)

4. Project share — what is everyone working on? (All)

5. Allowance — review amounts and distribution. (All)

6. Piano practice — when and how often. (S and E)

7. Composting — how everyone can participate. (Dada)

8. T’s upcoming birthday. (T and all)

9. Plans for next week, including Dada’s work trip. (Mama)

We ran through these items fairly quickly, although there was some healthy debate around the “allowance” item, and two girls performed lengthy piano pieces during “project share.” We treated most items as a discussion rather than a ruling; for instance, we chatted about obstacles to regular piano practice and brainstormed ways to get around them. And of course, while we cover most of these things already in passing, assigning them extra weight as official agenda items will hopefully make them resonate more.

(Meaning people might actually put away their clean laundry.)

There are other more important subjects to tackle at future meetings — think stranger danger, etc. — but we wanted this one to feel pretty light. We even ended with a game of “telephone” to adjourn in a fun way. (And if you’ve never played telephone with a 3-year-old in speech therapy, you’ve never played telephone.)

The ruling on the family meeting? The girls said they had fun and are already thinking of agenda items for our next session.

I’m guessing “allowance” will be on there again.

 

Jessie Keppeler
A Maine native, Jessie migrated down the coast to Boston after college, and it’s been home ever since. She has lived in various corners of the city — from Allston and Brighton to Newbury Street and then Jamaica Plain — before settling in Brookline with her husband and three daughters. As much as she loves home now, she also likes to leave occasionally: recent family travels include Italy, Belize, and Washington D.C. Jessie writes with a cat curled up nearby and a dog at her feet. And a cup of coffee. Always.