Breaking Up (with Amazon) Is Hard To Do

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Amazon - Boston Moms

A hundred and one orders placed in the last six months.

Every time I try, I fail. No matter what I do, I can’t quit Amazon.

And it’s not like I’m a novice at this: I quit Diet Coke AND alcohol. But Amazon is a whole different beast. Quitting just doesn’t seem possible. And every time I vow to shop elsewhere, these lyrics start playing in my head (sing along to the tune of “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do”).

Do do do.
Prime doobie doo down down.
Free two-day shipping doobie doo down down.
Great original content doobie doo down down.

Breaking up (with Amazon) is hard to do.
Don’t take your Dots away from me.
A Lightning Deal on my favorite tea.
Without Mrs. Maisel, oh what will I do?

‘Cause breaking up (with Amazon) is hard to do.
Remember when I ordered a weighted blanket to hold me tight?
And it arrived after just two nights.
Think of all the orders I’ve put through.
Breaking up (with Amazon) is hard to do.

They say that brick-and-mortar stores are just as great,
But now I need the perfect cake plate.
And when it comes to leaving my home,
Instead of going out I know that Amazon will send me some.

I need some diapers, in a size four.
Can you deliver them, right to my door?
Subscribe and Save on my TP too.
Breaking up <with Amazon> is hard to do.

No matter when, morning or night,
I can shop in my phone light.
Think of all the gadgets they sell,
Breaking up <with Amazon> is pure hell.

Free two-day shipping doobie doo down down.
Empty boxes everywhere doobie doo down down.
Great original content doobie doo down down.
Send help, please, down doobie doo down down.

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Sarah Casimiro
Sarah grew up in Rhode Island and now lives in West Bridgewater, making brief stops in Quincy, Fall River, and East Bridgewater, along the way. She made the leap from Rhode Island to Massachusetts way back in 1999 when she decided to pursue a teaching degree at Boston University. She chose her career in 1987, and is currently teaching High School English to 10th and 12th graders, fulfilling a six-year-old’s dream at the age of 22, a proclamation that often brings forth snickers from her students. She became a mother for the first time in 2016, to her daughter Cecilia, and doubled-down most recently in late 2018, with the birth of her second daughter, Adelaide. She currently lives with her husband, Jason, their dog, Nanook, their cat, Lanky, and six chickens. They share a home with her parents, who live above them, and also provide the most amazing childcare for Ceci and Addie. Sarah couldn’t live without her family, her insulin pump (shout out to other T1D mamas), and Starbucks Iced Chai Lattes. She could live without angry people, essay grading, and diaper-changing. She is looking forward to embarking on her maiden voyage into blogging with Boston Moms Blog and hopes you are too!