Having a baby is such a beautiful season in life. Those little feet, those precious snuggles, and that sweet milk breath can all be so addicting.
Yet, the newborn phase is crazy. With it comes a whirlwind of postpartum emotions, hormones, and “firsts.” Learning to dance to a different rhythm with a little bundle in tow and get into your groove is no small feat. Don’t forget, a mama was just born too. Living in two-hour intervals becomes the new norm during the famous fourth trimester. Whether the first baby or fifth, this transformative period can be so trying, despite the joy that comes with it.
So, how can we help our fellow new mama friends? Before I became a mother, I would excitedly show up at a new mom’s home with the cute baby layette and matching stuffed animal and want to snuggle and spend time with the new baby, give my friend a congratulatory hug, and go on my merry way — and all with the best intentions. Now, don’t get me wrong, as a new mom I greatly cherished all the thoughtful visits and gifts I received. But I have found that acts of service can be incredibly helpful during the postpartum healing process — and SO deeply appreciated. My recommendation is: Ditch traditional, keep it practical.
Keep her nourished
Start a meal train. Put together a platter of pre-cut and washed fruits and veggies for mama to snack on (also perfect for when visitors stop by). Load her up with snacks with nutritious and filling ingredients — smoothies, broths, granola bars. Takeout or meal delivery services can be great options as well.
Listen to her
Companionship, love, conversation, and genuine emotional presence can be incredibly welcomed during this time. Validate her and make sure she does not feel isolated. Ensure she is seeking any necessary professional help. Then throw in a few fun texts/check-ins with some Netflix recommendations!
Hire a professional
Postpartum doulas and lactation consultants can be invaluable to a new mom. (These services are definitely a little bit pricier, but they’re occasionally covered by insurance.) Send a housekeeping service over to save her from having to worry about cleaning her bathroom. Employ a laundry service to help her keep up with all those spit-up-stained onesies!
Think of her pets
Offering to walk or play outside with her dog can be a real lifesaver (or even hiring a professional service if that falls within your means).
Think of her kids
Helping with older children can bring such peace of mind — and it provides time for the parents to bond with their baby while offering the sibling(s) something special to do.
Help her clean
When a brand new baby is around, even the most basic cleaning chores tend to fall by the wayside. Lighten the new mama’s load by tidying up for her — throw in a load of laundry, do the dishes that have piled up, help her organize trouble spots in the house. (Or, employ a cleaning service if you’d rather outsource!)
Notice her yard
Yard work and gardening are so difficult to get to with a new baby. Take note of what light yard work you might pitch in on — weeding her flower beds? Raking her leaves? Shoveling her snow?
Grab a few things when you’re already out
You’re already going to Target (or to the grocery store, or to Starbucks). When in doubt, grab some Starbucks and bagels, ask if she needs to stock up on any essentials at Target (or if she wants a few minutes to run to Target herself), or grab her a few fresh produce items at the grocery store. You could even assist with placing an Amazon Prime order for her.
Be hands-on
If you’re visiting, don’t be afraid to change the baby’s clothes if they just spit up, change a diaper, and take over burping duty. Give mom and dad some time to nurture themselves and attend to their needs (you know, eating, sleeping, bathing, breathing). Or give them an opportunity to have a special date with their “big kid(s).”
Pamper her
Grab mom a gift card to the salon or spa to enjoy a rejuvenating massage or pedicure. You could even gift her a creative class she may enjoy when she’s able to get out of the house for a few hours without baby!
Remind her that date night is still possible
Deliver a date night gift card coupled with childcare — an opportunity for parents to spend quality adult time to connect with one another and grab a cocktail/appetizer.
Bring fresh flowers
There’s just something captivating about their beauty. A new mom spends lots of time indoors, and fresh flowers can be a lovely reminder of the outside world!
Helpful tip: If you are the new mama and have a difficult time asking for help, I find making a small list and leaving it visible on your counter can be a great way to communicate the things you truly need to the people who are interested in helping. It gives helping hands some options when they come over.
