There is something magical about this time of year. Maybe it’s the lights, the music, the baked goods, or some combination of these, but something about December transforms typical days into magical moments. Many of these moments are shared with friends and family, and over the years, these moments transform into traditions. Soon the magic and the traditions can become so intertwined that it seems one would be lost without the other.
So we go on each year, looking forward to our traditions that create holiday magic — until that inevitable year when the holiday suddenly looks different.
Maybe someone falls in love and decides to split the holiday between families.
Maybe someone becomes a nurse, a pilot, a police officer, or one of the many other occupations that doesn’t stop for the holiday.
Maybe someone can’t afford the time off or the expense of traveling.
Maybe someone has a baby and decides to spend the holiday at home.
Maybe a loved one was lost during the year, and there’s an empty place at the table.
Maybe you are the reason the holiday table looks a little different; maybe you are the one who feels left behind.
Whatever the reason, things can start to look different, and it might feel like the traditions are starting to slip away.
And if the traditions slip away, what about the magic? Does that disappear too?
There is no hard and fast answer to this question. However, like many of you, I have faced many life changes in recent years, and my holidays have certainly morphed along the way… but the magic most definitely lives on. This is not a foolproof list to guarantee this will be the case, but these suggestions can be a starting point — or at least a reminder that you’re not alone.
Acknowledge that it’s different this year.
Say it out loud: Things look different. You don’t need to expend tons of energy trying to make it seem like nothing has changed. Change can be scary, but talking about it often helps.
Share your feelings.
It’s OK if you’re happy about the changes. It’s OK if you’re sad. It’s OK if you’re somewhere in the middle. It might be in the days leading up to the holiday, it might be after. But know that it’s OK to share how you’re feeling — maybe not right in the middle of holiday dinner, but that is for you to decide.
Bring traditions with you.
One of the best aspects of meeting new people is learning about traditions that might be very different from your own. Feel free to share your own, especially the ones that are important to you. The holiday magic tied to that tradition can take on a whole new meaning when you see it carried on by a whole new group of people.
Start new traditions.
Every tradition starts somewhere, right? It takes someone to say, “Hey, here is something we did once. Let’s do it again!” So if there is something you have been wanting to do, why not start it this year? Organize a family 5K, set up a neighborhood caroling route, watch Hallmark Christmas movies all day in your pajamas. Share your idea, and see who wants to join in.
Embrace the unexpected.
A few years ago I spent most of Thanksgiving in a tow truck. My tires blew, and it was easier to be towed home than into the mountains where my family was gathering. I had a great two-hour conversation with the tow truck driver and was still able to Facetime my family. It certainly looked nothing like the Thanksgivings I had known before, but that year taught me a lot about what it really means to be thankful — and how often I take things like family (and reliable cars) for granted. Sometimes you find joy and gratitude in the places you’d least expect.
Count your blessings.
Sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in the stress of holiday planning, and we don’t stop to think about how fortunate we are to have somewhere to be for the holidays, let alone several places we wish we could be! In the midst of however you’re feeling (sad, happy, confused, anxious), take a moment to be grateful for the people around you.
Because whether it’s family, friends, co-workers, patients, or even a friendly tow truck driver, the true magic of the holidays is found in the people.
