Running to Break Through the Maternal Wall

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November 6, 2019

A few weeks ago Boston Common was packed with women and their loved ones, vendor booths, port-a-potties, and the media for the 43rd running of the Boston 10K for Women, an amazing race with the long-time and accurate motto, “Start Strong, Finish Stronger.”

I was there to run it, with my husband and two children in tow as my personal cheer squad. What I did not know was that on this, my fifth time running this race, I was going to experience a breakthrough like never before.

I know, I know. If you’re an avid runner you might be thinking, “Lady, it’s only 6.2 miles.” But bear with me here.

This is a significant distance for me and many others — but it’s about much more than the mileage.

See, I had not run this race since before getting pregnant with my daughter five years ago. She is my second child. She was born in the summer of 2015. And I did not run this race that year, or in 2016, 2017, or 2018. Even though I had run this race four times prior to having her, something was different this time. Some say recovering from having your second child is often harder than the first time around. And there may be some truth to that. But I would venture to say that in my case, it was something much bigger than that.

It was the maternal wall.

The thing is, many women — myself included — experience what I have learned to refer to as “running into the maternal wall.” This can happen in our personal or professional lives (or both). The maternal wall can make us feel stuck and unable to live a life where we can follow our dreams and be someone other than Mom.

And during that 10K, I broke through my maternal wall. Everything hurt, I didn’t think I could complete the race, I had on-and-off chills and heart palpitations. I listened to a prayer podcast while doing breathing exercises. My son’s voice played in my head over and over, saying, “Good luck, mama, I hope you finish.” I kept telling myself I had to give it my all, not for anyone other than myself and those babies who made me a mother.

And somehow, after 59 minutes and 22 seconds, with tears in my eyes, nausea, and a little bit of pee in my pants (just keeping it real here), I crossed that finish line. I knew then and there that I had broken through so many “impossibles” that had been building up around me since I became a mom. I felt incredibly proud of myself in that moment. But best of all, I knew I was forever changed.

But you don’t have to run a race to break through your maternal wall.

We all have some version of a 10K in our lives. We all have a challenge ahead of us that we can use to break through the maternal wall. And we can shatter all the ideas out there that limit us as women who happen to also be moms. I hope my story will inspire you to find out what your 10K is and decide that you will get through it and come out stronger than when you started. I know you can.

Four-Legged Family Members :: A Tribute to Our Family’s First Dog

By

Courtney Medlin

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November 5, 2019

Before I got married, before I became a stepmom, and before my son was even a thought, I was a (crazy) dog mom.

When you’re 20 and in college, a pet might not seem like the best choice. But I thought, “Why not?” I knew lots of students at my New Orleans school with dogs who still had social lives and went to class. Maybe it was a post-Katrina YOLO choice, but I don’t regret it at all.

I scoured Petfinder.com and the NOLA.com classifieds, and at the end of my junior year I found him. The ad showed a special needs black and white male shih tzu.

I knew he had to be mine.

He was even discounted due to his “disability,” AKA, his straight/gimpy back leg. He essentially lived with a peg leg. I remember meeting the breeder at a gas station just over the Mississippi border, and she told me he had never been outside. She held him like a baby — and he loved being held that way until his last day. He was named after the “Garfield” character because of his smile. He loved the outdoors. His spirit animal was a sloth.

Leading up to Odie crossing the rainbow bridge, I had a Carrie Bradshaw thought. When you’re 20 and get a dog, do you really think about who you will be in 10 years or who your dog will be? Odie became a brother (when I added another dog, Abita, to my family a year later) and remained an important part of my life for 13 and a half years. He road-tripped from Louisiana to Massachusetts with me, lived in six homes with me, and went everywhere I could take him.

And Odie became a part of a family with kids.

This was a big milestone, because my new stepkids (who were 5 at the time) had never had a dog. Though Odie and Abita were regular-size dogs, the kids had been traumatized by a large dog when they were toddlers.

They had to get used to the dogs as the dogs did them. My husband and I recall them both running away from Abita (who was four pounds) because she was the more curious and energetic of the two. Odie, however, had a calm (or lazy) temperament that was perfect for reacclimating them with dogs. Even with our toddler son, he just let him sit nearby, petting him, trying to pick him up.

When we noticed Odie was really declining, we had to talk with the kids about what was happening. He was uncomfortable in his own skin. He had lost his sight. And he was barking more.

On my birthday, we went out as a family to a park. We all got to spend a few final moments with him before he left us.

Today is the first day I’ll come home from work without him there to greet me.

Though it’s very sad and very quiet in our home, we know Odie is at peace, laying in the sun and watching over us.

Bully Proof Your Child with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

By

Rachel Rich

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November 4, 2019

Brazilian jiu-jitsu - Boston Moms Blog

By middle school, one in five children has experienced some form of bullying by their peers.

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive, and repetitive behavior that demonstrates a power imbalance. It can take the form of physical, verbal, or social aggression and cause lasting damage to the victim. Individuals who bully tend to suffer from some type of emotional or physical distress. Taking it out on others is a means to protect themselves.

To effectively eliminate occurrences of bullying among our children, we must collectively seek to empower them with the ability to protect and defend themselves as well as the confidence and maturity to not only look out for those who become victims but seek to understand and befriend those who engage in the act of bullying.

Martial arts is one highly effective tool for bully prevention that parents can offer their children.

By training in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, children will not only be able to defend themselves, they’ll also develop strong self-confidence and build character that incorporates caring for the collective community. Because it focuses on leverage techniques and submission holds to gain control in a physical combat scenario — instead of punching and kicking — it is considered a more peaceful approach to defending oneself. Simplified in Japanese, the word jiu-jitsu translates into “gentle art.”

Here’s why we’ve loved our family’s involvement with Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Jiu-jitsu builds character and emphasizes basic core values over fighting.

Fighting never comes first in jiu-jitsu. Respect for one’s self, training partners, and the art takes precedence. Respect, confidence, positivity, humility, and kindness are core values that many training programs emphasize in their curriculum. It becomes the expectation that students learn these values, practice them, and adopt them both on and off the mat. As a result, children can stand up for themselves and begin looking out for others who are struggling. A jiu-jitsu program can teach children techniques and strategies for using their words, seeking help, empathizing, and relying on their own strength and confidence to handle and defuse bullying.

Jiu-jitsu arms a child with unwavering confidence.

From learning and practicing jiu-jitsu, a child becomes stronger, faster, and smarter. When faced with a bully, a child with a jiu-jitsu background is not likely to back down. When bullies sense this unyielding confidence, it is more likely they will back down before engaging. A child who has self-confidence in his ability to defend himself will exude that. This can prevent many bullying encounters. At the same time, jiu-jitsu instills humility.

Bruno Cesar Dias, one of the lead professors at Juniko in Hanover, where our son and daughters train, grew up in a very humble family in a tough Brazilian neighborhood. Jiu-jitsu taught him how to deal with his challenges while learning how to respect and accept the differences between himself and those around him. “For the kids, I believe jiu-jitsu is the best sport to be trained. In each training day, new challenges are met, kids are never in their comfort zone, and there is always something to learn. Kids learn how to be humble, how to be nice to others, and how to solve problems on their own.” This is a person I value as a role model and instructor to my children.

Children should learn how to physically protect themselves.

Self-defense is a life skill — something we all should know how to do. It is unrealistic to assume that our schools can protect our children, even with a zero-tolerance policy against bullying. As a former middle school teacher, I can honestly tell you I could not protect every one of my students from all possible bullying scenarios and opportunities. As a parent, I cannot completely protect my own children from real-life bullies and dangers. Our children must know how to look out for their own well-being. When children train in jiu-jitsu, they are taught how to take down an opponent, escape different types of holds, and use their bodies to force an aggressor into submission.

Jiu-jitsu teaches children to be leaders and helpers.

Skills and values learned on the jiu-jitsu mat are parallel to leadership skills. As a result, children who train in Brazilian jiu-jitsu avoid becoming bullies. Instead, they can focus their confidence, skills, and strength on protecting others. Instead of becoming a bystander, they take an active role in protecting those who are victimized. They show the bullies, who are likely also struggling, a more positive and constructive way.

As a parent, my goal is to combat bullying by helping my children learn to stand up for themselves and others while engaging a would-be bully in a constructive and confident way. Brazilian jiu-jitsu is the tool that reinforces those ideas and cements them into children’s habits of mind, self, and action.

The Art of “Stretching” — As Taught to Me by My 6-Year-Old

By

alisonthurber

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November 1, 2019

stretching - Boston Moms Blog

We turn the corner to the first-grade hall. I hang back, letting him lead the way to the classroom door while I hold my breath and wait. Wait for the clutch at my shirt. For the glassy-eyed glance back at me. For the plea to stay just a few minutes more. Instead, a quick squeeze of my ribs (wasn’t his embrace only to my hips a year ago?), and he’s off. Buddies await. I watch with wonder as classmates receive him and share that anticipatory energy that abounds in every “first day of school” classroom. Exhale.

We pass through the chain-link fence to a sea of bounding bodies and unwieldy soccer balls dancing about the green expanse. Making our way to the assigned field, my son asks if there will be “friends.” “Yes,” I say. “A classmate or two.” I promptly remind him there are friends yet to be made. And I wait. Wait for the complaint of too-tight cleats. Wait for the pressured plea to kick the ball with him for just a bit. But then… he spots a classmate, and he’s off. I watch with wonder as he dribbles toward the familiar face and initiates an impromptu shoot-out. Exhale.

Parent-win moments, right? Aren’t those the sweetest?

But they’re sweet precisely because of the bitter/salty/spicy moments in between.

And because the snapshots above do not remotely capture the emotional angst that accompanied our child through a variety of transitions following our move to the Boston area last fall.

A year ago, “new beginnings” went something like this…

Fifteen minutes into practice, and the coaches still had not arrived. Kindergartners, in their soccer best, wandered the field aimlessly, some preoccupied with dandelions and earthworms while others committed to the activity at hand, launching balls in every which direction with any appendage available. We confirmed one classmate in the midst of relative strangers, but this failed to find traction with our 5-year-old.

With each passing minute, each futile attempt by restless parents to salvage the first practice with haphazard “drills,” I watch as my son’s energy slowly shifts from nervous excitement to general confusion to the (misguided) assumption that he should assume full responsibility for this rag-tag “soccer team.” And I wait. And I fear. And it begins. The tears. Fast and furious. Body thrashing, voice stammering, as he insists, “I’m the worst soccer player in the whole world. Never again! I will never play soccer again. I hate soccer!” Those were the laments suitable for public consumption. It devolved from there.

Twenty minutes later and the whole town soccer league bore witness to the most epic of meltdowns.

So I get it. I get it when, in late spring, a classmate’s mom sends out an Excel spreadsheet mapping out week-long sessions at a summer camp, inviting parents to fill in accordingly to ensure coordination. I get it when parents begin drafting a proposed fall roster of classmates intended for the community soccer league, sights set on a team oozing with school pride. Yes, I get it. Because the concerted efforts to finesse “comfort” for our kids reflect the daunting predicament the alternative would require — to watch as our kids confront the uncertainty of new people and places, and to bear witness to the vast repertoire of distressed responses our kids might exhibit (including epic meltdowns).

These scenes capture my son’s range of responses to new situations. I’ve managed to omit other relevant facts about our move.

Like how a year since we’d arrived I hadn’t yet joined a running club like I’d promised myself I would. Or how I’d been eyeing a class schedule at a local yoga studio for months, readying myself for a resurrection after leaving a reliable yogi community behind. After all, yoga studios can be intimate places — scant clothing, scant sounds, scant defenses. And there was that pesky matter of people — a new community of yogis I’d have to stretch to connect with (figuratively and metaphorically). Ugh. Strrrreeeetch. Isn’t stretching the most optional of human exercise? You don’t have to stretch. You could just cut yourself a break after the grind of “adulting” and retreat into the comfort of a well-worn yoga mat right at home. Except…

My son did attend the local camp this past summer. We did not reference the Excel sheet. And yes, he was thrilled on the occasion that school buddies turned up in his sessions. But walking home at the close of the very first week, my son announced he had made an “awesome” new friend who was new to town and who loved soccer as much as he did. Gleefully, he produced a keychain from his bag — a burnished soccer medallion. A gift from his new friend and an apparent consecration of their shared bond.

There was more. A weathered piece of notebook paper from the child’s mother inscribed with her email address. Emphatically, my son insisted a playdate was in order. I assured him I would email shortly. “No,” he countered. “You have to write a note… in pencil. That’s more special.” Right. No email, no rosters, no Excel spreadsheets.

Sometimes I think our kids show up as mini-prophets when we need them most.

A year after our move I finally put on my big-girl yoga tights and tried that studio. Because our kids’ nimble little bodies — and hearts and minds — they do stretch. With so much more ease than ours. And so we, their parents, need to stretch with them, or — at the very least — move to the side when their reach extends beyond our own.

It’s Fine! We’re Fine! Everything’s Fine!

By

Amanda Rotondo

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October 30, 2019

How are things, you ask? Everything’s fine! You know, a little rocky here and there with the kids and all, but fine. It’s fine. It’ll all be fine!

So, Charlotte had a little bit of a rough start in kindergarten, but it’s totally fine — we’re working with the teacher and things are getting back on track.

Yeah, I guess during snack one day she opened up a portal to hell in the classroom. I know, right? Demons everywhere, kids being smitten, the whole shebang. The teacher asked her to close it up but her head started spinning so she ended up getting a “strike” for not doing that “whole body classroom listening” thing they do, and of course then she was super mad so refused to close it up. It’s a bit of a debacle since one of her little buddies ended up getting sucked in. Yeah, it was her reading partner so she’s been having to do reading time by herself, which she’s less than thrilled about. It sounds like the custodian stuck his head in and saw the little guy in a tattered old loincloth ferrying souls across the river Styx, accompanied by a three-headed dog.

It’ll be fine. It’s just a little crazy right now. You know how it goes. But other than that, she’s loving kindergarten, which is great. So that’s all fine.

Bobby? He’s fine — we just got to the other side of a major “monster truck” phase, which was pretty intense but so typical, right? Yeah, now he’s really into cocktails. I found him in the liquor cabinet one day and was like, “Whoa, dude, what are you doing?” ‘Cause he had some old colostrum containers out and was using them to measure out bourbon to make a Manhattan. He was standing up on a stepstool and really struggling with the big bottle — it was cute. I mean, I know it’s not the best thing for a 3-year-old to be into, but it’s fine. You know how kids are with phases.

We had to start taking the spark plugs out of the cars at night, which is a little annoying but totally fine, because he was sneaking out and driving down to the local bar to hang out with these other preschoolers who I guess are also really into cocktails. Well, they’re not really preschoolers — I think they’re like in their 50s. But the car thing? I mean, the kid’s gonna be an engineer, am I right? It’s so neat to watch their little personalities develop. So he’s fine.

The baby? Well, she’s not a baby anymore! She’s 18 months now and really big on asserting her independence, which is totally fine and expected. Yeah, she actually started crawling out of her crib and went out to join the family of raccoons that live in the big hollowed out oak tree on our side hill. I get a little nervous about her sleeping 40 feet up in the air, of course, but it’s fine. The mother raccoon seems really responsible so I’m sure they’ve got a system in place up there to make sure she doesn’t fall. She’s got some new brothers and sisters now, and it looks like they have a lot of fun. I mean, I see the trash scattered all over the driveway in the mornings, so I know she’s eating well and getting exercise.

Now that she’s nocturnal I am up all day with the older two and then she comes to visit when the diurnal ones are asleep, so I’m really only sleeping, like, 25-30 minutes a night, which isn’t a ton, but it’s fine. I thought the sleep deprivation was supposed to end once they’re not newborns anymore, right? Ha! HAHA! RIGHT?!?! I wasn’t sure how it was going to work with winter coming but I’ve noticed she’s starting to grow a thick gray and black pelt, which has a nice downy underlayer and is kind of oily to keep the rain off. So she’s fine.

Me? Oh, ya know — same old, same old. I’m working a little more than I’d like — probably around a hundred or so hours a week. I mean, they want me to work more but I’m like, “No.” I draw the line at 110 hours. Like, that’s it. I’m on this project where I have to push this giant rock up a hill, and every time I get close to the top it rolls back down. Like, by design. I don’t know who scoped this thing. It’s fine, but whenever I ask the project manager what the end date is she bellows, “This is your eternity,” in this really low, spooky voice, which is totally not helpful.

So beyond that, it’s just kid stuff, activities, some volunteering, you know. Charlotte’s in soccer, dance, Scouts, she takes piano, Spanish, Russian Math, art, fencing, heating and air conditioning repair, and this really neat club where every Thursday for about six hours I just drive her around town for no reason and with no particular destination, picking up and dropping off random kids back and forth at opposite ends of town, giving them juice boxes. Then Friday for another six hours I go back through the route dropping off all the things all the kids left in the car and scrubbing sticky juice stains off my upholstery. It’s hectic, but it’s all fine.

I had Bobby in a few things, but he really only wants to hang out at the bar. And I’d love to put the baby in something, but they don’t have a lot of kids’ classes at 2 a.m., so nothing is really working with her new schedule. We’ll get there, but for now it’s just fine how it is.

So, we’re fine. How about you?

Nature Is Our Favorite Playground

By

Shannon Gibson

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October 29, 2019

nature woods - Boston Moms Blog

Our favorite playground is not one with swings and monkey bars and colorful structures. No, our favorite playground is the woods. It is the place where my two littles, ages 3 and 1, are content to explore for hours on end. The more time we spend in nature, the more familiar it becomes to us. “Look over here — this is our path. This is our favorite tree. Remember when the beaver hadn’t gnawed through that tree trunk yet?”

The woods remain mostly unchanged, which is comforting to a family who has experienced change after change within our established time together. The woods bring peace as the cool breeze blows through the tall pines. The woods bring tranquility as the same breeze spreads mesmerizing ripples across the shimmering blue waters of the pond.

Once our feet step into our woodland wonderland, time will mean nothing while we are participants and witnesses to the splendor of our woods.

The pinecones are ready to be picked up. The pine needles have been anxiously awaiting our footsteps since the last time they cushioned our feet in the woods. Rocks the size of boulders invite us to climb upon their strength. We accept their invitation every single time. My 3-year-old has climbed the same rock no fewer than 10 times in the last 20 minutes. A neighboring rock hospitably allows me to rest and nurse my son.

These rocks were just boulders before; but now, I can feel their friendship. My preschooler’s energy, laughter, and joy have bonded her to her rock. My son’s baby coos and my sighs of relaxation have secured us to our rock.

There is life and warmth in what was merely seen as cold, lifeless stone before these rocks came to life for us.

My daughter climbs up and slides down… climbs up and jumps down… climbs up and sits on her rock to appreciate her triumph. This is better than any playground construct I could think to take her to. The fashioning of the rock into a playmate was her genius and nothing another human could imagine for her.

She did the work. She reaps the playful benefits.

As I finish nursing my son and set him down on the ground of soft pine needles, he pulls up on his sister’s rock. He cheers his sister on for now, but one day soon he will make rock friends that allow him to explore the depths of his imagination as well.

In the woods, there is no nagging. There is no ordering my toddler to “be here, do this, no, don’t do that.” Nature brings an element of freedom as my independent girl gets to lead our adventure and experience the sense of control she so strongly desires on a daily basis.

We put off leaving our new rock friends as long as possible but realize that we must reluctantly part ways for now. We thank the rocks for bringing us pleasure. As we walk away, I turn back and see that only our rocks are illuminated by bright sunshine. The other rocks sit in the shadows as our rocks beam in the sunshine at the joy that still lingers. This encounter allowed our souls to be deeply intertwined with the creation we were made to indulge in.

We leave in gratitude to the woods for hosting such a magnificent play date.

Our family’s favorite nature spot is Harold Parker State Forest in North Andover, but check out Boston Moms Blog’s 10 Favorite Boston Area Spots to Soak Up the Great Outdoors or Family Hikes Around Boston. When in doubt, pick a Massachusetts State Park! Let us know where you create your own outdoor family memories!

New Season, New You :: 7 Ways to Give Yourself a Fresh Start

By

Meredith Bazirgan

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October 28, 2019

Fall is the perfect time to celebrate a new year. Especially for us moms. It’s our chance to embrace the change of seasons and reset or, in some cases, renew, our intentions and goals. Let’s not wait until the official new year to make a fresh start and accomplish what we’ve set out to do.

As a therapist and a life coach, I’m the first person to say that if we want to make changes in our lives, it starts with internal (versus external) shifts. That said, though, getting my hair chopped off this fall felt symbolically and physically freeing for me. It’s lighter. It’s minimal. And it goes with my mantra this fall of letting go.

Here are some other tips (beyond setting intentions) to give yourself a fresh new start.

Adopt a mantra that will bring you back to center.

This can be a few sentences, even, that you can recite as needed, and regularly, to remind you that you’re right where you need to be. That you’re engaged in and focused on what’s important in your life.

Plan and take a retreat, no matter how mini.

This can be as involved or as basic as you want and need for it to be. I’ve done one-night getaways that included driving an hour north to my parents’ house, grabbing coffee with a friend, doing some journaling, and maybe hitting the beach. Very low cost but a HUGE boost in my energy and in my return to self.

Plan something to look forward to.

Currently, I’m planning to attend a retreat in November. I also have a dancing night out with girlfriends planned for my birthday weekend. Studies show we cultivate many positive feelings when we have something to look forward to, no matter how small.

Declutter.

Your thoughts. Your closet. Your relationships. Anything that doesn’t serve you. Whatever it is, let it go. It will bring you clarity and it may open up the door for something else, be it a new emotion, person, or comfortable and cute pair of shoes to rock this fall.

Make INTERNAL shifts, versus external shifts.

So no judgment here if you want to buy that new pair of shoes this fall (see above), but if you want to really make changes, take a look at your mindset. Are your thoughts serving you, or is it time to replace them with new ones? Our thoughts lead to our feelings which lead to our actions which lead to the results we create in our lives. Make them count.

Follow the stars.

My personal favorite for astrology is Chani Nicholas. Whether you believe it or not, it can be a great way to see which nudges you’re feeling that may lead you to more motivation for that next goal. Which leads me to my last tip…

Initiate and/or complete a goal.

Maybe you’ve been wanting to run that 5K. I did an October half marathon with some friends in a beautiful town, and it had me upping my running game!

We still have a couple of months before the new calendar year, so let’s crush it with a fresh start! Above all else, remember that you’re already more than enough: Embrace your gifts, and just be you.

Hit a Homerun With the All Suites Brand

By

Morgan Sheena

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October 25, 2019

Thank you to the All Suites Brand by Hilton for sponsoring this post.

Raise your hand if you love traveling with kids but dread being stuck all together in a hotel room? I’m not just talking about family trips with your own kids, either. What about traveling in a big group with lots of kids who are excited to be in a hotel and with their friends? Yup, I see you, sports mom. I feel your pain.

In addition to packing many bodies and all their STUFF into a room, traveling for sports comes with a whole lot of hurdles. Having enough space for everyone, feeding the team, stinky uniforms, finding space for team meetings, and making sure everyone is happy are just a few things that come to mind. I’ve been a fan of the All Suites brand by Hilton hotels for a long time because they are perfect for a big group. The amenities are plentiful and thoughtful. And everything about the hotels is designed to ensure your whole party is happy and well taken care of. I had the opportunity to tour several hotels in Orlando (which is a regular destination for kids’ sports). And I loved them all. I can’t wait to bring my family to try out these hotels.

Embassy Suites

I was lucky enough to be spoiled with a stay at the Embassy Suites by Hilton Orlando-International Drive Convention Center for a weekend. Check out the room tour!

This hotel is located right in the middle of everything. There are dining and shopping options right nearby. There is easy access to all the theme parks and attractions. And the amenities will keep any team (and their parents!) happy.

In addition to a free cooked-to-order breakfast perfect for hungry teams, Embassy Suites offers spacious two-room suites that are ideal for groups. There’s also the famous evening reception with snacks and drinks for everyone, meeting spaces available for some team spirit, and one of the comfiest beds I’ve ever stayed in. My family often stays at Embassy Suites when we travel, because we love having separate space for the kids. We all sleep better when we aren’t on top of each other. Even better for tired athletes!

Homewood Suites

The Homewood Suites by Hilton Orlando Theme Parks has studios and one- and two-bedroom rooms with full kitchens and a really modern vibe. There are separate sleeping and living areas, which is perfect for a big group! Homewood offers breakfast, grocery shopping service delivered to your room, and every amenity you might want for an extended stay. Check out how beautiful it is!

Home2 Suites

The Home2 Suites by Hilton Orlando Near Universal was the most edgy and unexpected of the hotels with its modular furniture, fun and bright colors, and creative touches like the Spin2Cycle — a combined laundry and fitness area (think about it — it’s brilliant). Home2 Suites is an ideal space for any family or team on the go. In addition to being pet friendly, this hotel offers lots of great outdoor space perfect for celebrating your team!

So where are you traveling next for your kids’ sports? What do you look for in a hotel? Thankfully, the All Suites brand has hundreds of hotels, with something for everyone!

Jackson Walker’s Birth Story… And What Came After

By

Courtney Medlin

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October 25, 2019

Even before I became pregnant, I knew I wanted a scheduled C-section. Prior to that, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever have a baby at all. I knew I wanted a family. But I didn’t think about pregnancy and birth as my way to having a family until I met my husband. See, I’m adopted, and I was lucky enough to grow up with “sisters” from around the world through exchange students. So for me, how you become a family hasn’t always meant by pregnancy or birth.

My husband and I found out I was pregnant just over two years ago (the day before we left for vacation in Las Vegas — not the same type of trip we were planning on, but it was still fun). From our first appointment with our OB, I mentioned that I wanted to have a C-section. Family members had commented to me that it wasn’t allowed or couldn’t be done. Others would refer to the “incredible act” that my body was going to perform. I’d smile and nod, and in my head say, “Nope.”

I was able to choose to have a scheduled C-section with the note that if I ever changed my mind in favor of a more traditional birth, that would be OK. In nine months, it didn’t cross my mind. I get it — childbirth is a miracle, it’s a blessing to be able to do it, and some women dream of it.

But it wasn’t my dream.

My husband and I had everything packed and ready to go for our scheduled appointment at 8 a.m. We had to be at the hospital early for check-in, so we were in bed relatively early the night before. The toughest part about preparing for surgery was the ban on water for the 12 hours pre-surgery. As someone who drank a lot of water before being pregnant — and continued to drink water like a camel during pregnancy (because every piece of pregnancy advice stresses hydration even though it makes you pee even more) — it was tough.

When we checked in to the hospital, our wedding song was playing in the lobby. Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” is not something you hear on the radio very often, so we both smiled and took it as a good omen. Upstairs in anesthesia, we all had a good laugh when the anesthesiologist equated the pain I’d feel to a bee sting, because I’ve never been stung by a bee.

One thing I was not prepared for — despite everything I’d read or heard about C-sections — was how exposed I’d be during surgery. You’re basically naked, for all to see, and I was very aware of every time the door opened during my surgery because I could feel a breeze. I’d also expected I’d be able to keep my husband north of the curtain, but this failed when it came time for him to see our son for the first time and cut the umbilical cord, since he had to walk through what I assume looked like a massacre.

At 8:42 a.m., Jackson Walker Medlin was born — 8 pounds and 11 ounces, a full head of hair. Perfectly healthy.

While I recovered, the grandparents and great-grandparents visited. We enjoyed our first few hours with our new little one, praying all our pep talks to him in the womb to be a good baby would pay off (so far, fingers crossed, they have).

By late afternoon, I had zero energy. I figured exhaustion was part of giving birth, but this felt extreme. Then, while trying to feed Jackson, I felt a sharp pain in my right shoulder. I struggled to hold him and page the nurse or pick up my cell phone at the same time. When I reached the nurse, she seemed unphased by my issue and said it was probably gas pain.

I finished feeding the baby, and the pain passed. More visitors came and went, and I fell asleep from the exhaustion. The pain and exhaustion continued through the night, and I fell asleep again while my husband watched Villanova win the NCAA championship with Jackson sleeping between us. I woke up hungry, so Johnny went down the hall to make a bagel while our nurse was in the room to check in.

And then everything went dark. When I came to, there were a dozen people in my room. I’d had a seizure.

My husband recalls walking toward the room and seeing the nurse run to hit the emergency button. He was traumatized. I felt confused because I couldn’t remember what had just happened.

Jackson, thankfully, was moved to the nursery. The next few hours involved a combination of MRI scans and being hooked up to different machines while trying to describe my pain. Until the doctors decided to do a second emergency surgery, they were still referring to my pain as “residual gas pain.” Also, I was again not allowed to drink water though I was parched. I distinctly remember asking for water and getting a nod that it was coming, and then 45 minutes later I was offered a small sponge lollipop with a dab of water on it.

I only remember being frustrated and thirsty. My husband recalls me making jokes before going into surgery. But, to this day, I don’t remember much about what was happening. The entire night was a blur. I do know my husband was more scared than I was because he couldn’t do anything to help.

The doctors said it was an uncommon occurrence. When they had closed me up after my C-section, everything was “dry.” But a bleed caused my abdomen to fill up with blood. Then, because my blood pressure dropped, I had a seizure. I received three bags of blood. (At one of the final OB appointments during pregnancy, the doctor typically has patients sign a blood transfusion form — just in case).

I woke up the next morning in the critical care unit. And I had to spend the day apart from my new baby.

It was frustrating to not see Jackson as much as we expected to on his second day of life. But I knew he was receiving the best care possible in the nursery. And I knew I needed to make sure I was going to be OK so we could go home together. We were very lucky to have had such attentive nurses watching over our baby and checking in on us!

I’ve been told my actual C-section was normal, and if we want more children it wouldn’t be an issue. But I think we’re one and done. Jackson’s birth did not go exactly as planned. But his birth day will forever be one of the happiest and most traumatic days of our lives!

Boston City Guide

By

Boston Moms

-

October 24, 2019

Getting Around | Where to Stay | Dining | Things to Do | Shopping

Welcome to Boston! Whether you are moving to the area or are simply here visiting for a few days, we’ve got you covered. This handy guide highlights ways to get around town, activities for all types of weather, kid-friendly restaurants, and places to stay.

Boston is a relatively small city comprised of several neighborhoods, including downtown Boston, Allston/Brighton, Charlestown (where the movie “The Town” takes place), South End, North End (our version of Little Italy), South Boston (also known as Southie), Back Bay, Beacon Hill, Chinatown, Hyde Park, Fenway/Kenmore (where Fenway Park is located), East Boston (where Logan airport is located), Mattapan, Dorchester, Roslindale, Roxbury, West Roxbury, West End, and Jamaica Plain. While not technically part of Boston, some surrounding cities, including Cambridge, Somerville, Brookline, and Newton, are also part of the Boston metro area and are accessible by “T” (our public transit system).

boston

Being so far north, many people think of winter and snow when they think of Boston. And while we have been known for massive blizzards (hello, winter of 2015!), we are definitely a four-season city. It gets quite hot and humid in the summertime, reaching the 90s (and occasionally into the triple digits) during the peak of summer in July and August. Of course, the most beautiful time to come is in the fall!

Getting Around Boston

Because of its small size, Boston is extremely walkable. With its many winding one-way roads, it is recommended to get around by foot or public transportation and to avoid driving, especially if you are just coming for a visit.

It is really easy to get around Boston by the MBTA (or the “T”), our local public transportation system. Nearly all the stops on the train are accessible by elevator, as are the majority of the bus stops.

There are four main railway lines: the Red Line (which goes to Somerville and Cambridge), the Green Line (goes to Newton and Brookline and splits to the B, C, D, and E lines), the Orange Line (which also connects to parts of Somerville), and the Blue Line (which goes out to beach towns just north of Boston). There are also many buses to connect the areas that are not near T stops. Google Maps is a safe bet for helping you to navigate Boston by public transportation.

If you will be in town for just a few days and intend to ride the T only a handful of times, try to get a reusable Charlie Card. You load money on it and can use it on all railway and bus lines, and it will save you some money versus paying as you go. It’s only available at certain stops, so be sure to check if you can get one at the stop nearest you. You can also purchase day and week passes if you intend to ride the T a lot. Children under 11 years old ride for free on public transportation when accompanied by an adult.

The MBTA also includes several ferries, connecting Charlestown, the parts of Boston near the New England Aquarium and Logan Airport, as well as Hull and Hingham (two towns south of Boston).

Driving around Boston can be confusing if you are unfamiliar with the area, and parking can be limited, especially in the wintertime when there may be parking bans due to snow. Many neighborhoods have much of their parking reserved for local residents. Unless you intend to stay outside the city or do a fair amount of traveling to the outlying suburbs, public transportation is recommended.

If you are arriving in Boston by train, bus, or plane, it is extremely easy to reach other parts of Boston by T. Logan Airport is just a short ride to downtown Boston on either the Silver Line (a bus that connects to the Red Line at South Station) or the Blue Line. The Silver Line stops at all the terminals at Logan Airport and has the additional benefit of being free when you get on at the airport.

Where to Stay in Boston

Lodging in Boston can be on the pricier end, though there are ample hotels from which to choose. If you are staying downtown, expect to pay more than if you are staying in one of the towns immediately surrounding Boston, such as Brookline, Cambridge, or Somerville. We have many of the big-name chain hotels, as well as some smaller boutique-style hotels.

Airbnb is also a popular choice, and you can often find more affordable options to accommodate your entire family.

If you come in May, expect prices to jump, as there are a large number of universities in the Boston area, and May is prime time for graduations. The same is true in April during Patriot’s Day weekend, when the Boston Marathon takes place.

Dining in Boston

You can find all types of kid-friendly restaurants and cuisine in and around Boston, from brunch in the Cambridge/Somerville area to outdoor dining options in the summer months. There are a ton of options every day of the week where kids can eat cheap — or free!

If you are looking for a sweet treat, check out one of the fine doughnut or ice cream establishments in the area. Want to grab a pint? We have a great selection of kid-friendly pubs. And if you’re looking for a night out with your partner, we have a list of lounges we highly recommend.

Boston Public Market near the Haymarket T stop, a relatively new indoor market, is like a cross between a farmers market and a very nice food court. It features prepared food, produce, and other local products from around the Boston area. There are tables to eat at and a little play area for kids, and it’s open before any of the local attractions are if you are looking for breakfast and a way to keep the kids entertained in the morning.

Here are a few more of our favorite places to dine…

With the kids

Brassica Kitchen (Jamaica Plain) :: A cozy little restaurant located near the Forest Hills T station featuring American fare.
Ashmont Grill (Dorchester) :: Open for lunch on Fridays, brunch on the weekends, and dinner every night, Ashmont Grill serves homey American food.
UBurger (various locations) :: This local fast-food-style chain located in Boston features fresh, quality ingredients.
Tatte (various locations) :: A cafe and bakery with the most delicious baked goods. Check out the one on Charles Street for breakfast or lunch and then walk around for the perfect tourist experience.
Sweet Cheeks (Fenway) :: Southern-style fare made with local and responsibly sourced meats and produce.
Flatbread (Somerville) :: Delicious pizza sourced with local ingredients located right in Davis Square. The Somerville location also has candlepin bowling.
Zaftigs Delicatessen (Brookline) :: Kosher-style deli with delicious homestyle meals, sandwiches, bagels, and brunch. Located in Coolidge Corner on the Green Line (C line).

For a date night

Painted Burro (Somerville) :: An upscale Mexican restaurant and tequila bar located in the heart of Davis Square.
Stephanie’s on Newbury (Back Bay) :: Located on the upscale Newbury Street, Stephanie’s serves “sophisticated comfort food.”
Barcelona (Brookline) :: This wine bar and restaurant serves Spanish tapas. It’s located near the Washington Square stop of the Green Line (C Line).
Petit Robert Bistro (South End) :: Delicious French food.

Things to Do in Boston

fenway-park

There are a plethora of kid-friendly museums and attractions in the immediate Boston vicinity that are all accessible by public transportation. And of course, if you are here during baseball season, be sure to see the Boston Red Sox at Fenway Park!

Museums and Zoos

isabella gardner stewart museum

Boston Children’s Museum :: A wonderful museum by the Boston waterfront, geared especially to children.
Museum of Science :: Located in Cambridge, this fantastic science museum will keep everyone in your family entertained for hours!
New England Aquarium :: Our aquarium, located right in downtown Boston, features a lovely penguin exhibit and a large tank with a winding path around it.
Harvard Museum of Natural History :: Located in Harvard Square in Cambridge, this fun museum features a glass flower exhibit, wildlife from New England and around the world, and so much more.
Institute of Contemporary Art (ICA) :: This museum overlooking the water features a wonderful selection of art.
USS Constitution Museum :: Learn about life on “Old Ironsides” in the early 1800s with hands-on exhibits. Then you can also explore the ship itself!
Museum of Fine Arts (MFA) :: This museum features nearly 500,000 works of art, spanning all parts of the globe from different periods of time, from ancient Egypt to modern photography. Be sure to check out tips for touring the MFA with your little ones.
JFK Museum and Library :: Located in South Boston, this museum honors our nation’s 35th president, with recordings and exhibits about the hallmarks of his presidency.
Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum :: Located in the Fenway neighborhood, the museum features a gorgeous courtyard garden and beautiful art exhibits.
Mary Baker Eddy Library :: One of the highlights of this museum, located near Copley Square, is the Maparium, a gorgeous three-story stained glass globe.

Parks and Public Spaces

Jack on duck

Franklin Park Zoo :: Great zoo open year-round. It is located in Boston but can be a little tricky to get to by public transportation. There is ample parking if you decide to drive.
Arnold Arboretum :: A national historic landmark occupying 281 acres. Use the Forest Hills T station on the Orange Line.
Boston Common and Boston Public Garden :: Right in the heart of downtown Boston near the Park Street T station (Red and Green Lines), Boston Common has a splash pad/wading pool in the summer that turns into an ice skating rink in the winter. The “Make Way for Ducklings” statue is located in the Public Garden.
Quincy Market/Faneuil Hall :: With restaurants, large shopping chains, shops selling little trinkets, a massive food hall, and entertainers, you will find something for everyone here. Located near the Government Center (Green Line) T station.
Bunker Hill Monument :: Climb up this famous monument where the Battle of Bunker Hill took place in 1775 during the Revolutionary War. Enjoy a picnic lunch on the lush green lawn surrounding it or stroll around Charlestown. Located near the Bunker Hill T stop on the Orange Line.
Boston Harbor Islands :: Hop on a ferry and enjoy a day spent in nature, either going for a hike or relaxing on the beach on one of eight islands just outside Boston. Ferries are located next to the Boston Aquarium.

paul-revere

Tours

If you want to get a feel for the city and see more sites, there is a great selection of tours in Boston.

Duck Tour :: Learn about the history of Boston on this vehicle made for both land and sea. The tours leave from various locations.
Freedom Trail :: If you walk through Boston, you may notice a red line painted along some of the streets. This 2.5-mile line takes you through 16 historic sites. You can either walk the line yourself (try an audio tour) or get a guided tour, which you can catch right outside the Park Street T station.

Be sure to check out our latest weekend activity roundups for even more current inspiration!

Shopping

Newbury Street :: This street is full of upscale boutiques, art galleries, and cafes. Start at either the Hynes Convention or Copley stations on the B, C, or D branches of the Green Line.
Prudential Center :: A high-end mall located right by Prudential Station on the E branch of the Green Line or a short walk from Copley station on the other lines. There is also the Skywalk Observatory, where you can get panoramic views of Boston.
Assembly Row :: This newly revitalized neighborhood in Somerville features outlet shopping for kids and adults, as well as a great selection of restaurants — plus Legoland! Be sure to check out the Slumbrew beer garden, which has a delicious selection of local beers from this Somerville brewery, and games and toys for kids.
Beacon Hill :: Get off at Charles Street on the Red Line and stroll this historic neighborhood, which is full of cute little shops and cafes.
SoWa :: Outdoor market on Sundays in the South End during the spring and summer featuring food trucks, local artisans, and a farmers market.
New England Open Markets :: Another outdoor market featuring artisans from May to October. On Saturdays, it takes place along the Rose Kennedy Greenway, near the North End and the New England Aquarium. On Sundays, it is in the South End.

Some other fun neighborhoods to shop in include Coolidge Corner (Brookline), Harvard Square (Cambridge), Davis Square (Somerville), and Centre Street in Jamaica Plain (Boston). All these neighborhoods are full of interesting local shops mixed with some major chains, cafes, and family-friendly restaurants. If you are looking for some thrift shops specializing in kids clothing and accoutrements, we’ve got you covered!

For even more great resources, be sure to check out our family directory, which includes indoor play areas, parks, playgrounds, and so much more!

Things to Do With Kids in East Boston

By

Kristen D

-

October 24, 2019

East Boston - Boston Moms Blog — View from Lo Presti Park, East Boston. Photo Credit: Kristen Douthit.

Before we moved to East Boston, it felt like a distant land, far across the water from the rest of Boston. Now, after having lived here for almost a decade, I cannot imagine a better place to live — or raise kids. One stop away from downtown Boston on the MBTA Blue Line or a short water-taxi ride away, it’s an easy location for an adventure and offers a myriad of options to parents of young children!

Here are some of my favorite East Boston locations to visit with my kids:

Constitution Beach

Take the Blue Line to Orient Heights for this hidden treasure of Eastie. It’s a tiny beach with a large (free) parking lot. But the real draw is the view of Logan Airport a few hundred feet away. Your transportation-loving child will be thrilled to watch planes taking off and landing as Blue Line trains rumble by behind. When they get bored of watching trains and planes, they can build a sandcastle, play in the basic but fun playground, or splash in the shallow, wave-free waters. Parents can also rest easy knowing there are on-site bathrooms open April to October.

East Boston Greenway

When you’ve exhausted the fun of Constitution Beach, you can bike, walk, or run the 2.8 miles down the East Boston Greenway to Piers Park. The Greenway is scenic and only crosses one street — perfect for beginning bikers! As an added bonus, it runs alongside the Blue Line MBTA for the first mile. My children like to try to race the trains! If you prefer to take the train, Piers Park is a short 10-minute walk from Maverick Station.

Piers Park

Piers Park overlooks the Boston Harbor, giving you gorgeous views of downtown. It has a great little playground and splash pad. During the summer, there are open-air concerts sponsored by Zumix, plus outdoor movies. The local Piers Park Sailing Center offers a fantastic array of youth programs, including sailing lessons and nature camp. In the fall, the East Boston YMCA runs the stroller-friendly East BOOston 5K down the Greenway to Piers Park. And yes, there are on-site bathrooms!

Public Parks and Playgrounds

Be sure to check out some of the new, clean, completely enclosed playgrounds that hide in Eastie.

Paris Street Playground features a phenomenal climbing structure sure to challenge the most adventurous of little monkeys!
The American Legion Playground has views of the canal where your children can watch large ships come in. There is a section for toddlers, as well as ample climbing structures, slides, and swings (over new rubber surfaces) for older children. While it’s not close to public transportation, there is free two-hour street parking readily available most times of the day.
A short walk from the Airport MBTA stop is Bremen Street Playground, featuring three different sections, all enclosed with a toddler-safe fence. In the summers, the Bremen Street fountains are one of my kids’ favorite attractions in the whole city of Boston.
East Boston Memorial Playground is one of my favorites. It’s huge, with wood chip flooring, and features multiple climbing structures, swings, two teeter-totters, and small splash pad within its gated enclosures. Your little one can adventure while you can feel secure that their adventures are limited to a safe space.
Lo Presti Park is not completely enclosed, but it’s newly renovated and features gorgeous views of the Boston Harbor, where you can watch the boats pass by! It’s a short walk from Maverick Station.

East Boston Public Library

On a rainy day (or any day), be sure to stop by the East Boston public library for one of two children’s storytimes. On Wednesdays there is a baby lap-sit with stories and songs for children 2 and under, and on Tuesdays there is a fantastic children’s storytime and crafts for children ages 1-5. During the year, the librarians keep a robust calendar of insightful and fun children’s programs, including concerts, playgroups, and after-school tutoring.

Central Park Lanes

Last but not least, for more indoor fun, Central Park Lanes does not disappoint. It’s a bit of a hole-in-the-wall, no-frills type of place, but for a fun afternoon of bowling, it is your place to be. It’s a short walk or bus ride from Maverick Station, and there’s typically street parking available as well.

Whether you come for a few hours or a full-day adventure, I hope to see you around my neighborhood soon! What are your go-to places for kids around East Boston?

Resources for NICU Families

By

Lesley Moreau

-

October 22, 2019

NICU - Boston Moms Blog

Having a baby in the NICU is not only unexpected for many, it is also an incredibly stressful, emotional, and difficult time for parents. Prematurity is the number one reason a baby is admitted to the NICU. But full-term babies can require NICU stays, too. Sometimes there are difficulties that occur during delivery, or a newborn may show signs of a problem in his or her first few days. Feeling overwhelmed by the experience is natural, but there are resources available that can help NICU parents.

Support groups

Many hospitals have a weekly support group for families impacted by a stay in the NICU. This gives moms and dads an opportunity to meet other parents going through similar situations. It can also serve as an open forum to air out concerns or frustrations in a non-judgmental, confidential way. There are also phone support groups for parents who still want to talk about their experience post hospital stay.

Nonprofit organizations

Let’s face it. When you have a baby admitted into the NICU for an indefinite amount of time, everything else takes a backseat. In some cases, the baby must be transported to a hospital hours away from home. This can take a toll on parents who have to find housing accommodations or drive for a lengthy amount of time each day. There are organizations, such as Project Sweet Peas, that offer gift cards to be used toward food, lodging, and fuel for NICU parents. Other organizations, such as Graham’s Foundation, offer care packages for parents.

Technology

In the age of smartphones, there are so many ways to stay connected. There are a number of apps, including one from the March of Dimes, that feature tools, FAQs, and support for parents during their NICU stay and beyond. “Connected” is an ebook authored by a NICU nurse that includes a number of ways to bond with baby, plus info about challenges NICU families face and ways to handle them. The hospital our son stayed in had web camera equipped over bassinets that allowed parents to watch their babies when they could not be present.

Hospital staff

Don’t be afraid to ask questions and voice concerns to nurses or social workers — that’s what they’re there for. They can provide references for grants from nonprofits. They can offer advice in navigating the scary world of health insurance and hospital bills. Some might provide meal vouchers to the hospital cafeteria. They can even offer emotional support.

The NICU is a scary place for any parent. But there are many resources that can offer some peace of mind along the way. No one should have to go it alone.

This is a significant distance for me and many others — but it’s about much more than the mileage.

It was the maternal wall.

But you don’t have to run a race to break through your maternal wall.

Before I got married, before I became a stepmom, and before my son was even a thought, I was a (crazy) dog mom.

I knew he had to be mine.

And Odie became a part of a family with kids.

Today is the first day I’ll come home from work without him there to greet me.

By middle school, one in five children has experienced some form of bullying by their peers.

Martial arts is one highly effective tool for bully prevention that parents can offer their children.

Jiu-jitsu builds character and emphasizes basic core values over fighting.

Jiu-jitsu arms a child with unwavering confidence.

Children should learn how to physically protect themselves.

Jiu-jitsu teaches children to be leaders and helpers.

But they’re sweet precisely because of the bitter/salty/spicy moments in between.

A year ago, “new beginnings” went something like this…

These scenes capture my son’s range of responses to new situations. I’ve managed to omit other relevant facts about our move.

Sometimes I think our kids show up as mini-prophets when we need them most.

How are things, you ask? Everything’s fine! You know, a little rocky here and there with the kids and all, but fine. It’s fine. It’ll all be fine!

So, we’re fine. How about you?

Once our feet step into our woodland wonderland, time will mean nothing while we are participants and witnesses to the splendor of our woods.

There is life and warmth in what was merely seen as cold, lifeless stone before these rocks came to life for us.

She did the work. She reaps the playful benefits.

We leave in gratitude to the woods for hosting such a magnificent play date.

Adopt a mantra that will bring you back to center.

Plan and take a retreat, no matter how mini.

Plan something to look forward to.

Declutter.

Make INTERNAL shifts, versus external shifts.

Follow the stars.

Initiate and/or complete a goal.

We still have a couple of months before the new calendar year, so let’s crush it with a fresh start! Above all else, remember that you’re already more than enough: Embrace your gifts, and just be you.

Embassy Suites

Homewood Suites

Home2 Suites

But it wasn’t my dream.

At 8:42 a.m., Jackson Walker Medlin was born — 8 pounds and 11 ounces, a full head of hair. Perfectly healthy.

And then everything went dark. When I came to, there were a dozen people in my room. I’d had a seizure.

I woke up the next morning in the critical care unit. And I had to spend the day apart from my new baby.

Getting Around | Where to Stay | Dining | Things to Do | Shopping

Getting Around Boston

Where to Stay in Boston

Dining in Boston

With the kids

For a date night

Things to Do in Boston

Museums and Zoos

Parks and Public Spaces

Tours

Shopping

Public Parks and Playgrounds

East Boston Public Library

Whether you come for a few hours or a full-day adventure, I hope to see you around my neighborhood soon! What are your go-to places for kids around East Boston?

Support groups

Nonprofit organizations

Technology

Hospital staff

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