A New England Transplant’s Guide to Boston Winter

January 14, 2020

Prior to moving to Boston, I spent eight years living in the D.C./Baltimore area, which does not have a stellar record when it comes to dealing with snow. When we told people we were moving to Boston, the response was, “Good luck with those Boston winters!” Now, in the middle of my fourth Boston winter (with a 2-year-old in tow), I am happy to report that the winters are not nearly as fear-inducing as I was led to believe. (Now if only I could say the same about the drivers.) Here’s what I’ve learned.

Things get canceled… but not often.

I remember the first time significant snowfall showed up in the forecast. Where I used to live, 5-6 inches of snow is more than enough to cancel school, all extracurricular activities, and most businesses for at least a day or two. So when it happened for the first time here, my husband and I assumed our outing with friends would be canceled. We were surprised to find that everyone still planned to head out.

Of course, it was then that I looked out the window and witnessed the well-oiled machine that is Boston Public Works snow removal. I was amazed to see not only a plow, but also a Bobcat scooping snow into a dump truck that drove it away in no time. The grass and sidewalks were covered in snow, but the street was clear down to the pavement. Nothing was canceled that night, and life went on without missing a beat in the midst of half a foot of snow.

Get ready for sidewalk Olympics.

OK, everything I said above about the fine art of snow removal in Boston? Well, that only applies to the streets, and it is the EXACT opposite when it comes to the sidewalks. The sidewalks will be terrible from now until April. Many sidewalks will remain unshoveled for days. OR there will be a tiny shovel-width path, so there is no hope of navigating a stroller down the sidewalk. The daily melting and re-icing can pose a challenge for even the most devoted sidewalk clearer. Be prepared for many weeks of plowing that stroller through snowbanks, across ice patches, and sometimes even into the street to make it to solid ground. Godspeed, my friends.

Invest in a good pair of boots.

If you plan to leave the house between December and April, a good pair of boots will make all the difference. I was encouraged by some local friends to invest in Bean boots my first fall. I initially balked at the price but decided to take the plunge… and it remains one of the best decisions I’ve made. Four years in, they are still in great shape. They keep my feet warm and dry on the coldest of winter days. And of course, they provide much-needed traction as I navigate the icy sidewalks of Boston with my stroller. (Speaking of which, I’d also highly recommend investing in some winter stroller gear, especially a bunting of some kind.)

The 4 p.m. sunsets are real.

The first time I walked out of a faculty meeting at 4:30 p.m. in darkness, I was convinced something was wrong with my watch. Nope, I just moved to a place that probably should be on Atlantic time. Just be prepared for 4:30 p.m. darkness.

Boston winter does last forever.

The first time I visited Boston, it snowed. ON MAY 1. I assumed it was probably some kind of fluke but have since learned I was wrong. Some years winter is more like October through April, others it’s November through May. But however you look at it, winter in Boston does really linger for about six months. Yep, that’s right. Half the year is winter.

It is beautiful.

Before I scare you away, let me be clear: Winter in Boston is beautiful. Yes, it’s cold. Yes, it’s long. Yes, it’s dark. BUT unlike most places I’ve lived, Boston is prepared for all those things. There are plenty of indoor activities, museums, and events where you and the kids can stay warm and dry on the coldest winter day. There are plenty of impressive sledding hills in local parks. There are so many ice skating options to explore. And who doesn’t love an excuse to snuggle up inside and watch a movie with hot chocolate?

Take it from this New England transplant: Boston winter isn’t that bad. And with a little planning and preparation, it might actually turn into one of your favorite seasons!

All (Before) a Day’s Work

Kristen D

January 13, 2020

6:30 a.m.

Alarm goes off! Oh my gosh, why are my children so bouncy so early in the morning? And how are their toes so freakishly cold? I wonder if they have my poor circulation? But now they’re snuggling. Aww, I’ll take these snuggles any day. Remember when they were tiny and snuggly? Maybe it doesn’t matter if we’re late for school, because I really just want to stay here forever. Maybe I should have another baby. Or not, because now they’re kicking me. And their brother. And jumping. So much jumping. I think I might actually have one kid too many. Or three. Our neighbors must hate us. Please, please, please let there be coffee already…

6:45 a.m.

Shovel that cereal faster, kiddo. I’m not sending you to school without breakfast, even if it is just Frozen II Marshmallow Charms. Why do we have that again? Oh right, the temper tantrum of death at Costco. That reminds me, we’re out of something. What was it again? Brush your teeth. Now. Yes, now. No, I actually mean now, not after you build a skyscraper with your Magformers. Dear God, has he actually hit any of his teeth with that fun motorized toothbrush, or is he just massaging his ear with it? Definitely in the ear now. That probably explains the cavities… I need to call the dentist again.

7 a.m.

Shoes! Backpacks. Lunch. No, we’re not negotiating about snacks. No, you can’t take the Magformer tower with you to school. Shoes. What are you doing? Where are your shoes? Stop hitting your sister with the lightsaber! PUT ON YOUR SHOES. Why am I yelling already? I never wanted to be a yell-y mom. I think I’m turning into my mom. Oh thank God, they’re finally out the door — just a little late. My husband is a saint to take them to school every morning. Now where did I put my coffee?

7:15 a.m.

Oh look, that mom from my kid’s class just accepted my friend request. Yay, mom friends! Huh, that took a long time. Wonder what she thinks of me? I bet she thought I was awkward that one time when I hadn’t had coffee and was stumbling over my words. Who am I kidding, I’m awkward even when I do have coffee. I’m just an acquired taste — there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe she’s just weird. Or maybe I’m weird? My gosh, our house is a mess. I wonder if normal people clean under the couch regularly? And how do people keep couches white? Do their houses always look like Pottery Barn catalogs? Because mine just looks like a barn. A small barn that lots of small animals destroy.

Speaking of small animals, where is my littlest monkey? Oh good, she’s entertaining herself by reading a book — completely in the nude. Oh yay! She likes reading! I wonder if I should start teaching her letters now? Am I behind on her schooling because she’s not doing preschool yet? I should probably get her a punching bag so she stops tackling her brothers. Is that normal? Time to heat up my coffee again.

7:30 a.m.

To-do list time. I’m going to put “shower” on here so it actually happens. Who am I kidding? I’m going to wear my running pants instead so I actually go for the run I need. I’m going to put everything I do on here so that if my husband sees it, maybe he’ll know how much I actually do accomplish each day. Oh God, do I actually accomplish anything meaningful in my day? Girl, please, you write for Boston Moms — oh, shoot! I forgot about my deadline today! You run your own business, keep the house clean-ish, cook homemade meals, run half-marathons, lead a half-dozen moms groups, and are raising three pretty decent human beings. And I’m exhausted — maybe I’ve taken on too much? And am I even doing it well? My kids still keep wiping their hands on their shirts and don’t use spoons, and they think poop is hilarious.

Oh look, my toddler just pooped. Yay! Now we can leave the house without fear of an accident! Shoot, forgot the coffee in the microwave again.

7:45 a.m.

OK. Dishes are done, breakfast is cleaned up (theirs, anyway — I still haven’t eaten!), laundry is folded, kids are off to school.

I should probably start my day.

Where is my coffee again?

Mom Life Ain’t a Track Meet, It’s a Marathon (Why Ice Cube’s Wisdom Can Be Applied on the Daily)

Meredith Bazirgan

January 10, 2020

“Life ain’t a track meet, it’s a marathon.”

It’s true. So often throughout the day, I’ll remind myself of these lyrics. (Yes, I do sing it — in my head or aloud. It’s also fun to serenade myself in the mirror.) Pre-motherhood, it was simply about life. Now, I apply the metaphor to motherhood.

Mom life is a marathon, not a sprint.

You see, every mom I’ve ever known, near and far, experiences mom guilt to some degree, at some point in their journey of motherhood. And typically, it doesn’t serve us, especially when it leads us to say no to the things that fill us up.

So here are a few ways I’ve found to kick mom guilt to the curb and live my #momlife marathon to the fullest:

Remember your why. Whether it’s a reason for going to work every day or a night away from the family, taking time to invest in ourselves usually has a greater “why” than the feelings that may come up from time to time. For example, I currently work part time outside of the home as a therapist, and I’m building a life coaching business. These are things that allow me to use my gifts, bring in money for the family, do something good in the world, and feel a sense of meaning and purpose.
Practice saying no. “No” is one of the most valuable words in the English language, especially during the busy seasons of our lives. Last holiday season I decided to ignore the mom guilt and say no to the craziness/business/stress. During your next busy season, make a list of the memories and events or activities that give you and your family joy. Then say no to the rest.
Reach out to a favorite person for a pick-me-up. Bonus points if she also happens to be a mom. Chances are, she’s had mom guilt before and will have some tips for you. Or if nothing else, she can remind you that mom guilt is normal to feel, but it’s also OK — and, in fact, wonderful — to ignore it. Put it away. Focus on things that serve you.

How have you kicked mom guilt to the curb? Please do let me know. Motherhood is a long journey, and we’ve got to tend to our hearts, souls, and selves along the way.

4 Simple Steps for Healthier Phone Habits

Deborah Anderson

January 8, 2020

If you had to live without your phone for a week, could you do it? Would you be happier?

I went phone free for a week, and it helped me realize how much I had been overusing my cell phone — and under-appreciating my everyday life. It happened by accident, and at first, I was miserable without my handheld device. What happened after I adapted to life without a cell phone is the surprising part:

I actually enjoyed my time without it.

As a stay-at-home mom of two young children, I had been using my cell phone as a lifeline to the outside world. On any given day I could spend an hour straight on social media alone. I felt the compulsion to check updates on social media, search for deals on Facebook Marketplace, and send my friends funny memes. It kept me connected with friends and family but simultaneously pulled me away from the present moment within the walls of my own home. I knew I was on my phone too much, but I wasn’t sure what else to do with my minimal free time while at home. I was sucked in.

Then one night, my phone froze, turned black, and never turned on again. Naturally, I panicked and tried every trick I could to revive it. The next two days brought snowstorms, so getting a new phone wasn’t on the agenda. Besides, by the second day, I didn’t really feel the need to go get a new phone. I found that without the steady ping of notifications I was able to truly enjoy my free time. Responding to e-mails right away seemed less urgent, especially when I didn’t see them come through instantly on my phone. I felt free.

When I connected my new phone, what I learned is that I hadn’t really missed that much. A few texts came through, but nothing time-sensitive or urgent. Having truly enjoyed my week sans telephone, it made me want to set up some parameters around my usage. Here are a few ideas to help you implement freedom from your cell phone:

1. Check your usage

When you step back and consider how much you use your phone in a given day, that may be enough to inspire action. Is it the first thing you reach for in the morning? The last thing you look at before you go to bed? A quick check online answering these six questions on Pyschology Today might help you gain some insight into whether or not you may be developing an addiction to social media. Using a phone usage app such as Moment could also help you visualize how much time (and where!) you’re spending on your phone.

2. Put the phone down

Once you’ve decided to spend less time online, it is important to take steps to help you reach this goal. One of the most simple and effective ways is to put your phone down and walk away. By placing your phone in the same spot regularly, it will allow you to hear it if it rings while also creating a physical boundary. During my phone-free week, my mind accepted that I didn’t have my phone to fall back on. And I found productive things to do instead. I engaged more with my children, finished some house projects, and sent off mail to friends. You’ll be less apt to check your phone if it isn’t within arms reach.

3. Turn off app notifications

Another great way to avoid getting sucked into your phone is by turning off app notifications. That way, when you check your phone you won’t feel sucked into multiple apps only to realize most of it could wait. Because I was starting over with a brand new phone, I’ve been taking the “less is more” approach. I have fewer than half the apps I had before. By turning off notifications, muting stories, and unfollowing pages that are no longer sparking joy, you’ll clear up a digital and mental space so you can get back to what really matters.

4. Turn your phone off before bed

In the last 50 years we have seen the invention of the computer, internet, and cell phone. We are plugged in more than ever, and science suggests it may have an effect on our sleep cycles. One Harvard Study suggests that the use of blue light after dark may disrupt our circadian rhythm and increase blood sugar levels while decreasing melatonin secretion. I have been trying to turn my phone off an hour before bedtime, taking that time to read instead. I purchased an alarm clock and made my bedroom phone free — and it’s helping me get to sleep!

How do you limit your screen time?

On Being an Adult With Food Allergies

Morgan Sheena

January 7, 2020

I’ve had stomach problems for as long as I can remember. I even remember being shamed about it in law school. (“Ugh, you always get a stomach ache. Why do you have to be so difficult when we’re going out to eat?”) Yeah, that stuck with me.

Anyway, it wasn’t until I got older that I realized something wasn’t right. I started with seeing an allergist, who dismissed my stomach problems as no big deal but immediately began singing a different tune when test results came back. Turns out I’m allergic to soy, wheat, and almonds. Fortunately, I’m not anaphylactic, but I’m allergic enough that cutting these things out has made a difference, and when I do eat them I notice it for sure. Since then, I’ve taken steps further and have started seeing a functional medicine PCP to take a deep dive into what’s going on and find some solutions.

Here are a few things I’ve learned as an adult with food allergies.

You have to speak up

We spend a lot of time advocating for our children and their needs, but it turns out we have to advocate for ourselves! I’ve had to learn to not feel uncomfortable letting people know there’s a lot I can’t eat. I’m lucky to have a rich social life, but this also means I lack a lot of control over the things I get to eat. So if I’m going to a friend’s house for dinner, I make my voice heard so our hosts will offer something that’s safe for me and my food allergies. Or if we’re planning a night out, I speak up so we choose a restaurant with options that won’t make me sick. I’ve had to ask to speak to chefs and managers to make sure there is something safe for me to eat. I’ve also sometimes had to stick with fairly plain foods so I can avoid sauces that will make me sick. And it’s OK.

You may have to say no

Sometimes I decline invitations when I know there won’t be anything safe to eat. Or I need to be comfortable turning down food that is being offered to me knowing I may offend someone. Or sometimes, I have to do what I can to make it work. This may mean eating before or after an event, bringing my own food, or enjoying some extra water and being a little hungry. With food allergies, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

You have to do your research

It’s rare that I’ll step into a restaurant without examining the menu online beforehand. Many menus do note what options are safe, which is definitely a big time saver. But in addition to that, I have to carefully read labels when purchasing food and plan ahead as much as possible so I know I’m purchasing things that won’t cause a problem. I also need to be careful about what I’m grabbing out of the fridge, because I’m the only one in my family with food allergies. (Here are two can’t miss resources for allergy-safe eating in the Boston area: Boston Restaurants for Allergy Families :: Where You Can Eat and Be Safe and Holidays and Food Allergies :: Boston’s 6 Best Allergen-Friendly Bakeries.)

Don’t let yourself be shamed

I can’t help that I have food allergies and my stomach doesn’t jive with everything I want to eat. But to make someone feel bad for something that they can’t control? Nope. That’s not OK.

Seeking Adventure This New Year :: 3 Promises to My Children

Kristen D

January 6, 2020

It’s January now, which means it’s time to evaluate our lives and decide what words we’ll use to ascribe meaning to our year. It’s time to determine what resolutions we’ll make — and then break a few months/weeks/days later.

Last year, I made an elaborate list of 34 things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 35. In a year, I accomplished 17 out of 34 — not a passing grade, but more than I would have accomplished otherwise. It was helpful to have goals and to have something to work toward. This year, I’m following suit by avoiding resolutions and aiming for practical adventures (mostly, the 17 things that I didn’t accomplish last year!). And having a dance party with my girlfriends is getting added to the top of the list.

As I think about parenting, I want adventure to be part of that as well. My favorite memories with my kids are the ones where we are throwing caution to the wind and doing something wild, out of the ordinary, or totally unplugged. In order to make adventure happen more often, these are the promises I’m making to my kids this year:

I promise (to try) to be present… and not plugged in.

We rarely have fun adventures when I’m staring at my phone, handling work emails, or planning the perfect Instagram-worthy adventure. We can make an adventure out of anything when I am simply (fully) present with my children. Some of my best memories from this last year are the 15 minutes I took every Friday to play train tracks with my middle son and live in his imaginary world with him, rather than rushing past. Adventure doesn’t have to be elaborate or preplanned — it just needs to be together.

I promise (to try) to be patient… and not (too) punctual or overprogrammed.

If you asked my children what phrase mommy uses the most often, they might say, “Come on!” or, “Hurry up!” Ninety percent of our days are spent rushing between activities. As a result, both my kids and I end up in similar emotional states — frustrated and tired. When I relax and stop rushing, yes, we are often late, but we end up having much more enjoyable days. When we do one fun thing, rather than 20, my children enjoy the adventure far more — and honestly, so do I.

I promise (to try) to be practical… and not practically perfect.

We are in the process of trying to plan our spring break adventures right now. Honestly, there are just too many options. Sometimes the enemy of a good adventure is the thought that the “perfect” adventure is out there somewhere. Or I get so distracted by my kids’ unruliness that I fail to enjoy the adventures we do have. Practically speaking, noise, energy, and chaos are going to be part of any adventure. The sooner I accept our reality, the faster we will be able to enjoy some really fun (crazy!) adventures.

And when all else fails and I break these promises next week, the best promise I can make my children is that I will apologize and we’ll keep working on it together.

Saying NO to ‘New Year, New Me’

Chelsey Weaver

January 3, 2020

It’s the time of year I dread — when social media is flooded with New Year’s resolutions, and the infamous “new year, new me!” frame of mind is infectious.

There was a time in which I soaked it all up — I set lofty goals, made beautiful but unattainable bucket lists, and convinced myself I could change my mindset overnight. I set myself up for failure more times than I can count, and it weighed on me emotionally.

Why couldn’t I just get it together and try harder? I just needed to do better and suck it up when it was hard.

I spent YEARS holding on to this negative self-talk until I reached a place where, after failing so many times, I felt too defeated and powerless to even set any goals at all. The trouble with these kinds of resolutions is that they leave no room for growth and squash the journey altogether. Consequently, my journey felt impossible, and my personal growth plateaued. In short, I was deflated.

Somewhere along my journey into motherhood with a child who has special needs, I hit a really hard wall. I had to change my way of thinking in order to move forward.

More importantly, I realized I was unknowingly and inadvertently teaching my daughter to have a negative mindset instead of a growth mindset. That was a really, really hard dose of reality.

And so, we did what all the parenting experts advise when things are hard. We watched Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. (All joking aside, that’s actually what we did.)

Along the way, we learned some things that have turned into the best kind of New Year’s resolutions — the kind that can enrich your life instead of kick you when you’re down.

We have learned that even though my daughter is 3 and I’m 32, we both benefit from having a basic set of goals to work from. We can both fall back on them in the hard moments and the proud moments, and we can do it together. At the end of the day, it feels liberating instead of constricting.

So this year, instead of setting ourselves up for defeat, we will be choosing to practice these three basic ideas all year long.

1. I can do hard things.

It’s OK to identify that something is hard, both when you’re struggling and when you feel proud. This also gives a good opening for expressing we need help or support with something.

2. Doing one thing is better than not doing anything.

If what you’re doing feels overwhelming, pick one part of it that you CAN do. Prioritize and decide what the most important, necessary pieces are — instead of what would be the ideal. (Cue the song from Daniel Tiger: “When something is hard to do, try it a little bit at a time.”)

3. Be kind.

Be kind to yourself, and give yourself the grace you extend to others. Everyone makes mistakes, regardless of what their Instagram portrays. Own it. Comparing yourself to others is a great way to ruin a perfectly good day.

Maybe these mantras will propel us into awesome growth, or maybe they’ll “just” help us get through the really hard days. Either way, this year, we are firmly saying, “No, thank you” to the idea of “new year, new me” — and all the negativity that comes with it.

This Year, Do THIS Instead of Making New Year’s Resolutions

Angie V Martin

January 2, 2020

Isn’t it funny how much pressure we put on ourselves at the beginning of a new year to all of a sudden change something about ourselves completely cold turkey, expecting it to 1) work and 2) make us happier?

We give so much importance to ONE day. Life might be pretty much the same, the weather might be pretty much the same, but for some reason, that date on the calendar is made to signify so much that we feel it imperative to make a huge shift, perhaps with little to no preparation for what it might really mean.

It is well known that New Year’s resolutions seldom work out (80% of people do not keep them). So how about we consider something different for this year’s transition from 2019 into 2020?

I like to create what I call a joy practice. A joy practice is your own custom set of daily actions or habits that you have chosen to make time for, because when you do so, your days are better. You experience more JOY in your life. You have something to fall back on when stress rises or new parenting challenges come along with your child’s most recent developmental milestone. You in to give this a try, mama?

Here are the five steps to nailing your joy practice — and putting those New Year’s resolutions behind you:

Make a list of your top ten values.

There’s no right or wrong answer here. Each person has her own, and no one person’s values are better than the next person’s. Some examples are: family, faith, community, friendship, honesty, beauty, wellness.

Once you have your list, rank them by order of importance and choose three to five that you will work with to create your daily joy practice.

Define the importance of your top values.

Ask yourself (and journal on this if possible — after all, you’re trying to make a meaningful plan for 2020 here, one that you will be able to successfully implement): Why are these values so important to you? What do they mean to you? In what ways are you able to honor those values? And when you honor those values, what does that feel like (notice I asked what it feels like and not how; answer with an actual emotion if you can).

Brainstorm a plan for your joy practice.

What are some things you can do briefly — either when you first wake up, smack in the middle of the day, or right before bed — that might help you feel what you described above? Write a few of these down. Some examples might be waking up a bit earlier and doing a short meditation or prayer, going for a walk, having a five-minute dance party, journaling, or reading.

Try to choose practices that might help you honor your top values. For example, you might try meditation because it could help you be more present with your children, and family is a top value of yours. Start slowly. You do not want to commit to too much or it will backfire. But it is OK to have a list of ideas and commit to trying one or two at a time. Give each chosen practice at least a two-week trial period before moving on to something else.

Reflect on what is working and what needs to go.

After two weeks of trying the first practices, give yourself permission to keep what works and let go of what does not work. If things are going great, consider adding another practice, or what I call an emergency shot of JOY — something to rescue you from a moment of overwhelm. Maybe you can add reminder affirmations to your phone’s background or sticky notes with a reassuring message where you can access them easily. Or maybe you implement a breathing practice to stop yourself from losing your patience with your kids around the evening/dinner/bedtime hours. Again, your choice. And let go of anything you have either completely forgotten to do in the last two weeks or that clearly did not work for you.

And last, repeat as needed.

There is no right or wrong way to do this, mama. This is just a guideline that I hope can take some of the pressure off New Year’s resolutions and start you on a path to more fulfillment and joy in 2020. Give it a good college try, and if it is not for you, then stop. But if it helps, revisit it every time you need a fresh practice to get back on track. I know a lot changes throughout the year — the seasons, my HORMONES (!), and whatever my kids are going through, to name a few. In the same way, our joy practice can evolve. And you have permission to let it do just that.

Wishing you a better, more joyful 2020!

From Hallmark Channel Hater to Holiday Mom

Lesley Moreau

December 23, 2019

When I was younger, I loved Christmas. I was that kid who would get so excited for Santa’s arrival my parents probably should have used a tranquilizer on me. Seriously, when I was about 6 years old, I could not fall asleep on Christmas Eve to save my life. I tossed and turned in bed and yelled out, “Did Santa come yet?” about every half hour until, finally, my parents had had enough. We opened our gifts at 4 in the morning. We were the only house on the street with our lights on that early. They never let me forget that holiday.

Flash forward to my adult childless life — I was so over the holidays. I wasn’t quite at the Ebenezer Scrooge level. More like an antagonist in a Hallmark Channel holiday movie. I just couldn’t get into the holiday hype. There were a handful of Christmas songs I could tolerate (“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” “Last Christmas,” “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” and the Jackson 5 Christmas album). I got very overwhelmed by all the holiday events and the need to do more, more, more. Suddenly, holiday parties weren’t enough. Now it had to be an ugly sweater party, or a cookie swap, or a dress-as-your-favorite-character-from-a-Rankin-Bass-holiday-special party. And then of course there was the decorating, and the presents, and the planning for the actual day itself.

But now that I have a son, I see this time of year through a completely different lens. And it’s really exciting for me.

Sure, I still mainly listen to the few songs I like. No, I still don’t own an ugly sweater. Yes, I am still overwhelmed by all the hoopla and hype. But I find myself getting excited for the holiday again. I think about the traditions from my childhood that he can partake in. I wonder what new traditions our family will create. I see how curious he is about the lights and decorations. The enjoyment he feels shaking jingle bells while I (badly) sing the song makes me so happy.

My son is only 15 months old, so he still doesn’t quite understand what’s going on. But I can tell that each year he’ll be more and more excited about Christmas, and that, in turn, makes me feel excited. I feel as sappy as the protagonist from a Hallmark Channel movie now — and I’m totally OK with that.

No Elf Here — We Have Snow Globes Instead

Rachel Rich

December 20, 2019

My oldest was just 3 months old his first Christmas. I thought it might be a great time to practice elfing, so my husband and I purchased an Elf on the Shelf, gave him a name, and started the very short-lived tradition.

It didn’t take long for us to realize this was not going to work out.

I was most definitely not interested in the accountability and incredible risk that came with this particular tradition. Sure, I saw the potential for delight and joy. But I also recognized my own limitations that came with the responsibility of ensuring this childhood magic. I did not trust myself to remain calm, not take it too seriously, remember to move the elf, or enjoy it. We determined this wasn’t for us when the neighbor boy called us out, wondering why our elf hadn’t moved since his last visit. Then and there I decided we would have to find another tradition!

For a few years our children were too young to know we didn’t have an elf, so we carried on. But as each Christmas passed I knew the time would come when someone would ask about an elf in the presence of our elfless children, and I would have to be prepared. When my son was 3 and my daughter was 1, our path forward finally revealed itself. We were watching the classic 1970 Christmas movie Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town, a movie my kids adore and rely on as the ultimate source of information for the story of Santa Claus. One scene in the movie explains how Claus is able to know if the children are being naughty or nice. The Winter Warlock gifts him a magical crystal snowball and shows him how it can be his eyes to the children. It’s really quite clever.

I immediately recognized my opportunity, and our first snow globe appeared that Christmas. It’s been a part of our family holiday tradition ever since.

This year, we have about four snow globes strategically placed throughout the house as a reminder to our children of the magic of Christmas and of the all-knowing Santa. I personally love snow globes for the simple delight and imagination they invoke when gazed upon and shaken. Their ability to work Christmas behavior management over my children and the fact that I don’t have to remember to move them or come up with cute ways to present them is an added bonus! If you’re looking for an alternative to the Elf on the Shelf, I highly recommend this low-maintenance, imagination-sparking, and magical snow globe route.

Last year, someone asked my son about his elf. She was curious if our elf had arrived, because hers had. My son was confused and turned to ask me if we had one. I explained matter of factly that Santa left us with snow globes instead. My son accepted it and started telling the friend about our snow globes. It ended up being a no-big-deal conversation!

I love the Elf on the Shelf. It was certainly a brilliant idea. However, I’m all about avoiding it in my life if I can help it. I stress easily, and I prefer to reduce/avoid the stress-inducing traditions of the holidays when possible. If you have an Elf and love getting creative, I think it’s awesome! Please post your pics! It brings me joy to see what you are doing. There is no FOMO here.

However, if you want out, I got you. Here’s a simple way to make the switch from elf to snow globe:

Have your elf explain that he’s been reassigned to a family with babies and toddlers. Once kids are a certain age (the age of your child), the elves move on and leave magical snow globes in their place so Santa can still keep a watchful eye. The littles of the world need elves more than big kids. If a friend’s elf is still around, it’s simply because he has yet to be reassigned. Super easy!

Christmas has such magic and innocence to it. Family traditions are essential to making it all it can be. We should celebrate in ways that fill our homes with joy, fun, and faith. The elf has become a widespread and favorite tradition for many families. However, it isn’t for us all — so hopefully for some, I’ve shown you another possible way!

My Toddler Threw an Epic Airplane Tantrum — and I Survived

Shannon Gibson

December 19, 2019

Several months ago, I was on a flight where I observed the worst toddler tantrum I have ever seen in my 33 years. To my horror, the toddler was mine.

My husband unexpectedly had back-to-back trips that would cause him to be gone for nearly two weeks. I decided I did not want to be a solo caretaker to our barely 3-year-old and 6-month-old for that amount of time. Fortunately, we had just enough airline points for the flight to my mom’s house in Texas, so I eagerly booked it. All that stood between me and 12 days of family, friends, and Tex-Mex was a four-hour flight with my toddler and baby.

Finally, the travel day arrived. I took deep breaths to calm my anxiety and repeated self-affirmations in my head: “This is just like a playdate. I take these kids everywhere by myself. This is no different. I got this.”

TSA was surprisingly painless, and the Boston Logan staff were awesome, as always. My daughter and I shared a slice of pizza, filled our reusable water bottles, and prepared to board. I sat my daughter by the window, and I took my place in the middle seat as a buffer between her and the kind lady who happened to occupy the aisle seat.

The flight was long, but, for the most part, uneventful. My son alternated between sleeping and nursing, while my daughter alternated between snacks, coloring, and the iPad. I was feeling like a rockstar. “Best kids ever. Best mom ever. This is going great!”

At last, the fasten seatbelt sign lit up, and it was time to descend. We made it! I started nursing my son in preparation for a smooth landing and asked my daughter to let me put her seatbelt on. But she did not want to put her seatbelt on.

We spent a few minutes gently discussing the importance of putting her seatbelt on. And then things started to escalate. The flight attendants were making their rounds, so I forcefully buckled her seatbelt, as we really did not have an option in the matter.

Game over.

The next 20 minutes felt like three additional hours had been tacked onto our flight. Not only did my girl not want her seatbelt buckled, now she was holding her ears screaming at me that they hurt. I told her they needed to pop and tried to offer snacks, but it was too late.

My 3-year-old was past reasoning. She was done talking to me. It became the most extravagant tantrum I have ever witnessed in any child.

I remembered that before takeoff, the lady sitting next to me had declared that she enjoyed children on airplanes. So, I put her to work. I handed her my baby while I frantically tried to help my daughter. I begged and pleaded. “You can have any snack you want! You can watch anything on the iPad! You can color! You can look at my phone! Just PLEASE STOP!” Regrettably, the more I petitioned, the louder she screamed.

In a moment of pure desperation, I hoisted my daughter in the air above my head where she could see our now completely silent airplane audience. Through gritted teeth I implored, “Look at the people! See the people? THE PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU!” She stopped screaming, so I lowered her down thinking maybe my antic had worked. Nope.

The screaming started again, along with kicking the seats in front of us.

Finally, the plane landed. Her ears must have popped, because the minute we touched down my sweet girl reappeared and started chatting my ear off about seeing her uncles soon. I profusely thanked the lady next to me for her help as I took my son back. I sat stunned, speechless, and humiliated at what had just occurred. We exited the plane, and I could not make eye contact with a single person.

Once at baggage claim, I did not even notice my brother walking up as I stared into space, completely exhausted and defeated over the longest 20 minutes I have ever experienced. We grabbed our bags, loaded up, and I found my sanity on the drive to my mom’s house.

I regret that I do not have any advice on how to avoid a toddler airplane tantrum. However, I can promise that you will survive, too, and life will go on.

I learned that my daughter’s epic airplane meltdown did not make her a bad kid, or me a bad mom. It made us both human. And resilient humans, at that.

Do You Hear What I Hear? A Few of My Favorite Christmas Tunes

Courtney Medlin

December 18, 2019

Commuting to work during the holiday season is a lot more pleasant when I can blare the *NSYNC Christmas album. And holiday-themed dance parties sure have a way of turning a kid’s bad mood around. We’re loving the holiday tunes that are playing everywhere this time of year. Here are some of my family’s favorite Christmas songs — both traditional and guilty pleasure. Give them a listen!

“That’s What I Want for Christmas” by SheDaisy
“Wrapped in Red” by Kelly Clarkson
“Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth” by David Bowie and Bing Crosby
“Christmas Is Coming” by Miss Piggy and Friends
“Where Are You Christmas?” by Faith Hill
“The Only Gift” by *NSYNC
“Christmas Lights” by Coldplay
“A Holly Jolly Christmas” by Burl Ives
“It Feels Like Christmas” by The Muppet Christmas Carol
“Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas)” by Bing Crosby and The Andrews Sisters
“All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey
“River” by Robert Downey Jr.